The Destructive Nature of Wrong Healing Theologies

The way the Charismatic church preaches healing is spiritually devastating and falsely puts the sick person's trust in revelation and in the men giving the revelation, instead of putting their trust and focus on our Lord Jesus Christ. As a Charismatic believer, I am deeply grieved by what I have seen in the church towards our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who are sick. 

Beneath all of the window dressing, healing ministries teach that healing is received by obtaining knowledge or revelation. If you are lucky, you might get one prayer out of a minister before they start to pile on the "how to be healed" homework. This is when the healing minister sends you a video, a book or invites you to come to one of their "training and equipping" classes. In these classes they will tell you all the reasons why you should be healed, yet they are unable to demonstrate it.

Charismatic healing ministers teach people these 4 basic “truths”:

• It is always God's will to heal.
• We have all power and all authority to heal the sick.
• Healing is always today. There is no delay nor waiting.
• It is part of the atonement. God said, "yes" to your healing 2000 years ago.

These are the basics of healing you will find in every Charismatic church or every healing book you read. It's all the same, but repackaged, renamed or "rediscovered" year after year after year.

Now there are generally two different camps or viewpoints when it comes to receiving healing in the Charismatic.

The first camp are those who preach a hyper-grace/Finished Work healing methodology. They say that you were healed 2000 years ago, but now you need to believe it in order to receive it. They will say things like, "Healing is already done in the spirit, but now we need to bring it into your reality". There will always be some variety on that theme because they have to explain why Christians are still sick despite it being "finished" at the Cross. They will have you focus on your identity in Christ and other related teachings where knowing “who you are” is the most important thing. Those who get healed by the grace of God are then seen as more spiritual sons of God than those who remain sick.

The other camp are those who believe there is a root cause for why you got sick in the first place. This camp says you need to discover that root cause in order to "close the door" that the enemy has used to gain entry. These people believe in breaking curses, believe that your words have intrinsic power to create or destroy and will usually make you repent for sins you may have never done or have already repented of and no longer partake in. This particular camp loves to get you to open up to them in order to dig into your life to find the root. These things then can be used against you to manipulate and control you.

Both schools of thought about receiving healing are destructive to the spiritual well being of the sick in the church.

Healing ministers teach a very impersonal God who desires His children to partake in a works based healing theology that requires one to rehearse phrases, repent of sins already repented of and other strange superstitious and ritualistic behavior. For instance, I heard with my own ears a popular "Identity" and "street healing" minister tell a stroke victim to “stop saying my stroke, but instead just say, the stroke”. 

The main reason why all of these ministers teach that healing is received by special revelation is because they are the ones who claim to have all power and authority, that it is always God's will to heal and that healing is part of the atonement. They need EXCUSES as to why people who come to them are not healed.

Some ministers like Todd White and Dan Mohler will say something like, “We are growing in this guys. There is something we're not seeing. If we had the revelation, all would be healed”.

This is total garbage and offers the sick person absolutely no solid foundation to stand upon! Now instead of having people continue to look to Jesus Christ and trust in Him, we send the sick and those wanting to pray for the sick on a revelation fishing expedition. 

Teachings like this make God impersonal. They paint God as someone who is waiting around until man figures out some secret revelation in order to begin healing His children. 

Ministers like Todd White and Dan Mohler betray their own basic healing truths. If God's will is always healing and we have all authority and power to heal and there is no timing on His part and it is part of the atonement, then healing should have happened. Period! Yet this is why hidden behind the "basic truths" these ministers preach, is a never ending journey of discovering more revelation or looking for answers. This is why sick people go from person to person, book to book and conference to conference because they have been sold the lie that in order to be healed they need to find the revelation. 

These ministers REFUSE to go back to the Word of God and re-evaluate what they believe. They continue to make up new revelations and come up with answers that are unbiblical and foolish. They set sick people up to become disillusioned and often times many leave the faith.

When a person is not healed, the healing ministries are suggesting (directly or indirectly) that something is wrong that needs discovered and fixed. One minister I used to follow even says, "The deficiency is never with God", which is suggesting not only that a deficiency exists, but that it is the sick person's fault.

When you look at both schools of thought, do you notice a common trend? It is man-based and it is self-based. It is all about preaching new revelation as a means to see healing or to see more people healed. It is a Gnostic view of healing that can be found in the New Age movement.

These teachings put sick people at odds with God and suggest that God is withholding healing because they aren't quite figuring out the atonement or the root cause. These healing theologies cause the sick to learn not to trust God in their sicknesses, but instead is telling them to trust in themselves, their doctrine or the minister who is teaching them healing. Sick people are constantly looking for answers or for other people to give them answers and this is how deception and error enters in to their lives. These errors can then extend to other areas of their faith.

Once a sick person tries everything that these ministers throw at them, then what? What do we have for the sick? Can we encourage someone to continue to follow the Lord even in their weakness and sickness? Sadly the answer is NO. I was that person who went to these ministers and they had nothing but taglines and catchphrases. They have absolutely nothing to offer the sick. It was this struggle and battle that allowed the Lord to open my eyes to other deceptions that I write about on here. It was in this battle that I finally found the Lord and stopped going from minister to minister to find Him.

A complete tearing down of healing theology needs to happen in the Charismatic church. We need to put our focus on Jesus Christ and teach the sick to trust Him no matter what happens. We need to stop telling people to look for secret revelations on healing. This is leading many astray. The sick children of God are being ravaged by thieves and wolves that have found their way into the church. God have mercy!

Healing from Incest Sexual Abuse

It's been nearly 4 years since I told my mom I was sexually abused by one of my cousins.

The Lord has done a lot in those 4 years and I wanted to write again in more detail. I am more than happy to write about this, so please email me or comment below if you want to see more articles about this part of my life.

The first part of the healing process involved me becoming born again and believing in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I had been raised in the Catholic church, but it was never personal in my own heart.

Jesus says in John 3:3 “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Paul writes in Romans 10:9-10 “...that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.”

On June 16, 2012 I made the decision on my own faith to believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Prior to this, I was completely lost, insecure, broken and always looked to myself for my strength and for answers in life. I was always wanting to be in control of everything. Even my aversion to having faith in God and in His Son Jesus Christ, was largely influenced by the psychological issues that arose from the abuse. I always looked at those who believed in God as weak minded people who needed to believe in something to feel better about themselves. I didn't want to be seen as weak, so I didn't see any reason why I needed God in my life.

Well life began to show me many reasons why I needed God. Life began to show me that I wasn't quite as tough as I had thought. Life began to show me that I was not in control as much as I had thought. There were a lot of other things going on in my life that finally lead me to the Lord.

Often times, due to our own stubbornness, it may take hardship and trials in order for a person to realize just how much they really need God! When we can make all the loose ends in our life work out (even if it's quite messy), we tend to think we have no need for God. It is this mindset that keeps a person away from God their entire life. If you do not know and love God in this life, then you cannot expect to know Him or be with Him in heaven when you die. That's the reality of it.

We are All Sinners in Need of a Savior

For me the first major step towards healing was recognizing that I was a sinner and was in need of a Savior to forgive me of the many sins that I committed in my life. Many of those sins were actually in response to the abuse that was done to me. The sexual abuse left me as a confused teenage woman. I continued to put myself in terrible situations where I could be taken advantage of by people and had little confidence or love for myself. I burned my arms. I starved myself. I hated everything about me.

Those who have been abused have to recognize that they too have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Although your sins may be different or “lesser” in your eyes, those sins still separate you from the Lord. The good news is there is no need to carry them around like baggage because forgiveness of sins and salvation is a free gift from God to all who believe in Jesus Christ.

I Wasn't Looking to be Healed of the Abuse

Once I was born again and baptized, I'll admit I wasn't looking to be healed of the abuse. I was pursuing God to be healed of long term chronic illness and for a sense of meaning in my life.

But in my pursuing of God, the Lord knew what was to come and He also knew the things that needed to be done in my heart. Even though I denied it, God knew how much the abused had effected every single aspect of my life. God cares about our whole being! It was only 6 weeks after I was born again that my cousin's mom died and I knew there was no way I could go to her funeral. I knew this was going to bring up some awkward questions, uncertainty from family members and even contact from my cousin himself.

My cousin did in fact contact me a few weeks after the funeral. It pushed everything that had happened a decade prior to the forefront. I was in absolute panic and terror.

Abusers will use anything in order to try to get back into your life. They thrive on you “needing them” or they will look for situations where they want you to give them sympathy. Many even create situations where you need them in order to continue to abuse you. With my cousin there was always manipulation and control. Nothing was ever as it seemed and there was always something in it for him.

When my aunt died, I had to face a lot of parts of my life that I never wanted to face. Previously I had determined that I would probably take all of this to my grave. I figured no one needed to know about it.

God disagreed with my plan! Haha! Part of the healing process was God taking the veil away from my eyes and heart and letting me see what my cousin did to me. For a good part of 12 years, I thought what had happened was actually my fault or something that I wanted to happen. There were so many lies. There was so much shame. There was so much pain. All of that was keeping me silent and locked in a prison. God also let me see that my voice was important. He had things He wanted me to say and He still has need of me to be used by Him in ministry. This blog and everything the Lord has shown me in His church is just one example of that.

It may be hard for people who have not gone through incest sexual abuse to understand these conflicting emotions. However when sexual abuse is done by a person you thought you could trust and love, it really messes up your mind. Looking back I was trying to protect myself and I went along with a lot of things mainly because I was so scared! I remember during that time I was mostly just terrified and in shock. It was too much for me to bear.

After my aunt died and my cousin contacted me on Facebook, I cried out to the Lord in complete desperation. God spoke to me very clearly that morning and told me to call my mom and tell her what happened. I don't know how my mom dealt with it all since it was her sister who had died just a few weeks prior, but she listened and believed me! She said that my behaviors in the past were now finally making sense to her! I truly believe today that it was God who set that phone call up.

Groomed to be Abused

One of the hardest parts for me to face was the fact that my cousin and his father (my uncle) hand selected me to be abused later on in my life. I'll be honest, I often wonder if others in my family have also been abused. There was a lot of flattery from them in my youth. There was a lot of attention given to me. Despite being warned by my parents to stay away from my uncle, it was his son that deceived me. I remember the whole family came together and celebrated when my cousins would come in to visit. It was always such a great family event. There was such joy and excitement associated with my cousin(s) that I didn't normally have in my life. There was a lot of lying and story telling where my cousin always made himself the hero. Most of these stories involved violence of some sort and him defeating a 'bad guy'. My uncle was also known for being violent and abusive, so there was also a sense of danger too. Whenever you are a small child these things affect you more deeply than you realize at the time.

I had many cousins growing up and we were all very close like best friends! It was not uncommon to have sleepovers and hang out all the time. My cousin used these situations to his advantage to push the boundaries of what a cousin would normally do together.

Grooming tactics can often times look like innocent child's play or can sometimes be brushed off as “just a misunderstanding”. I specifically remember as I got older (13), there was more physical touching like grabbing my hand or brushing against my abdomen or wrapping his arm around my waist or tickling me in a very flirty way. I specifically remember asking my other cousins if they saw him acting strangely around me.

It's important to recognize that the kind of abuse that I suffered was not a single traumatic event that happened by a stranger or acquaintance.

I was groomed. I was manipulated. Boundaries were pushed each time him and his family came in for a visit. He pushed his limits to see what I would take or if I was going to stop him. At first I did stop and say no, but over time I became too scared to say anything at all. Most of my journal entries in that phase of my life said something like, “Does my cousin actually love me and want a relationship with me?”

In my mind the concept of sexual abuse wasn't even on my radar and the only logical explanation I could come up with was that he must actually love me. It was at this point in time that I began to experience what is known as Stockholm Syndrome. I began to experience a bond and sympathize with my abuser. Merriam-Webster defines it as “the psychological tendency of a hostage to bond with, identify with, or sympathize with his or her captor.”

All of this only added to my confusion. The shame, guilt and dirty feelings kept me trapped in a cycle of abuse. When he was not visiting the area, the emotional and psychological abuse continued online via instant messenger and emails. 

He said, She said

When it comes to sexual abuse, it is unlikely there will be witnesses to the crimes. The shame, guilt and confusion one feels normally keeps a person from getting help from family, friends or the police. As I said previously, I was groomed over a long period of time before the abuse began. They get you comfortable being alone with them, so they can do it all in private and secret. 

Many who have been abused, fear that they won't be believed when they do finally speak up. Unfortunately most of the time they aren't believed and the more status, fame or cherished the abuser is by friends, family and the community he or she is involved with, the less likely the victim will be believed.

Since I didn't even believe myself, I didn't expect anyone to believe me. I am blessed that some people have believed me. Many don't understand and haven't given me any further emotional support, but they do in the very least believe me. 

Looking back over my own story, I thank GOD that my mom believed me! I think my healing process would have gone quite differently if she had not. However at this stage of healing, I honestly don't care if people believe me. Most of my family is still Facebook friends with my abuser and they still talk to him as far as I know.

Denial of Evil in Our Midst

I understand that for most families, friends and communities, it is hard to accept that a person you love, lived with, laughed with and shared memories with could be an evil abuser. Imagine how much harder it is for the person who was actually abused?

Most people think that kind of stuff happens to other families and could not possibly happen in their own families or communities. I think it is because we project our own kindness and perceived goodness on to others, so we can't think that someone so evil could hide in our midst. Sadly evil can look good, sound good, be quite convincing and charming. 

Evil people do not run around with horns and a pitchfork.

Apostle Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 11:14-15. “No wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. Therefore it is not surprising if his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness, whose end will be according to their deeds.”

Unlike what is shown in pop culture, the devil can be disguised as someone who is good and righteous; not evil and wicked. The devil also doesn't live in hell as it is popularly portrayed either. He prowls around on the earth "...like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8). He is the father of lies who schemes and deceives people. This is why abuse can happen in churches, charities, good families and other places that one would not expect it to happen. Abusers take advantage of people's compassion, trust, love and forgiveness to carry out their own dark desires.

God will one day judge these people accordingly just as Scripture tells us. They may not be held accountable in this life by our own justice system, but they will not escape the judgment of God at the end of time. Knowing this brings me great rest that ultimately the Lord will set everything right. I still pray for the repentance and salvation of my abuser, but if he never comes to that place, then I know God will bring righteous judgment upon him.

Lord God Can Bring Healing

The Lord God can heal you from sexual abuse. I'll take it a step further and say ONLY the Lord God can heal a person from sexual abuse. I looked at other secular paths, but none of them did me any good. I tried to heal myself with self-help techniques and an EFT counselor, but it just left me feeling worse.

The veil was always there.

The lies were always there.

The pain and shame never went away.

The dirty and unclean feelings simply remained.

On the outside maybe I looked OK, but inside my heart was still dying.

There are many who are quite open about their abuse yet still suffer in their personal lives in various ways. It's important to be honest with ourselves and look to see how exactly the abuse may still be affecting us today. Even if it's 10, 20, 30+ years in the past we may see areas in our life where the effects are still present. It can manifest in so many different ways and it will likely be different for you than it was for me.

Some may not be able to hold a job or may be unable to remain in any long term relationship. Some may be using alcohol and drugs to cope. Some may still be trapped in a prison of shame, anxiety, insecurity and anger.

You can read more about the effects of child sexual abuse on the adult survivor here. http://www.siawso.org/page-5143

You also read more about the effects here.

https://www.rainn.org/get-information/effects-of-sexual-assault

Sexual abuse can even cause people to question their sexual identity too. I know in my own walk, I had questions and confusion in that area for a short time. I found myself in a gay club from age 18-19 in an attempt to hide from men who might hurt me. There was a brief time in my life that I thought maybe I was bisexual too.

The Limitations of Counselors

There are many limitations when using a counselor especially a secular counselor who does not believe in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

A counselor cannot take away your shame.

A counselor cannot take away the guilt.

A counselor cannot take away the painful memories.

A counselor cannot give you the ability to forgive your abuser.

A counselor cannot give you redemption, love and life.

It's important to recognize that a counselor is an imperfect human being (like you and me) who has their own set of problems and insecurities. They can make mistakes due to their limited knowledge and may even have a bias towards your situation. Even the kindest therapist with the best intentions can do harm to you unintentionally. Sexual abuse counseling is a very delicate process.

Many counselors and psychologists are unhealed from their own mental health issues and the job itself brings about serious mental and emotional problems too.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199707/why-shrinks-have-problems

The EFT counselor I saw for a period of time was very liberal in her morals and values and tried to get me to accept things that went against my conscience. Some of her suggested treatments were for me to partake in sexual behaviors that I considered immoral. It was absolutely devastating to me! The Lord had to undo damage that this woman did to me psychologically.

If you need to see a counselor, then I would only recommend seeing a Christian counselors and even still, I think you must be selective in who you see. Some Christian counselors bring New Age ideals into their practices or use "inner healing" techniques that I completely disagree with. Many use practices that ask the individual to go back to each traumatic memory and to “look for Jesus”. 

I disagree with this kind of therapy because the victim can easily fabricate images in their mind that might soothe them temporarily, but may be detrimental to their long term healing and trust in God. 

In contrast to the limitations of a counselor, with the Lord all things are possible!

The Lord can take away your shame.

The Lord can take away the guilt.

The Lord can take away the painful memories (or at least make them less emotionally painful).

The Lord can give you the ability to forgive your abuser.

The Lord can bring redemption, love and a new life.

I think it's important to recognize that the healing process will likely be slow and quite painful at times. The Lord gave me instant freedom in certain areas of my abuse, but He has also had me in a very difficult wilderness season the last 4 years. It was during that time that He built a connection in me to Him. 

I truly believe the journey to healing will be different for everyone, but the most important thing is to be connected to the Lord and to listen to Him. Learning to know God as your Heavenly Father is so important to healing. Pray to Him and tell Him all of your struggles and get into the Word of God so that the Lord can impart His truth to you and begin to erase the lies you believe about yourself. The Lord can be trusted to take you through the process.

God Can Be Trusted to Guide You Through the Journey

The Lord is holy, righteous and good. He is perfect. He does not make mistakes. He is patient, loving, kind, longsuffering and most importantly loves us and knows us more intimately than we even know ourselves. He is all knowing and has unlimited understanding, compassion and knowledge.

The Creator can heal you in ways that a man or woman is unable to do so.

The secular counselors say you have to take charge of your healing by learning to change your thoughts, emotions and your reactions. They give you activities to distract you from the pain, but they cannot heal a wound in your heart. Many of them also bring in spiritual elements that are not compatible with Christianity.

In contrast when you come to the Lord, we simply surrender ourselves to Him.  

Jesus says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Only the Lord Jesus Christ who willingly hung on the cross for you, who bore your sins, shame, guilt, condemnation and pains, can free you from those chains. Only the Lord Jesus Christ can give you the grace (or the ability) to forgive those whom most would deem unforgivable. Only the Lord Jesus Christ can give you the peace and rest you are looking for in your heart.

When it comes to healing with the Lord, some of it will include a renewing of the mind (Romans 12:2) and an understanding of our identity in Christ. However, there is also a supernatural element to it that you won't be able to fully understand or even grasp. When a person is born again, the Holy Spirit comes and lives inside of the person and they are washed clean and made righteous in Christ. For me that was so important because when my cousin stole my innocence and virginity from me, it made me feel like a whore, dirty, unclean and stained.

But the Lord Jesus Christ washed me clean of all those sins and impurities and He imputed to me, His righteousness. I traded my dirtied rags for a clean white robe! All of that dirt and grime and sins I had committed in my life, God forgave in the blink of an eye.

This is why I believe only the Lord can completely and fully heal a person from the trauma of the abuse and every other effect that goes along with it. Only He can wash us clean and make us whole and righteous. If you have gone down other paths for healing and have sought counseling, I am not here to condemn you for your choice. I am appealing to you as a fellow sexual abuse survivor to come to the Lord Jesus Christ. 

If you need to go see a counselor or therapist, then please do so! If you find though they are not helping you or it is just masking your emotions, then all is not lost. There is hope and healing in the Lord Jesus Christ. Only our Heavenly Father can get down to the very depths of our being and reach in and heal those pains, hurts and fulfill our hearts, minds and souls with His truth.

Come to Him in your brokenness, in your shame, in your pain, in your anger, in your confusion, in your contempt, in your depression, in your anxiety, in your sexual confusion and everything in between. Despite all of that, He loves you and died for you on the cross and wants you to know Him in a personal way.  He already knows what you are thinking, feeling and He knows everything that happened to you. He is the only one who can make you a brand new creation. In 2 Corinthians 5:17 it says, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.”

Only the Lord Jesus Christ can save your soul, forgive you of your sins and give you eternal life. I believe the words of Jesus when He said in John 14:6 “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.”

Call out to Him today and begin the same healing process that the Lord has done in me. I'm very thankful for everything the Lord has done and I continue to seek Him for physical healing in addition to more emotional healing as well.

If you would like to read more about my walk with the Lord, then please read some more of my blog posts below:

Healing the Wounds From the Past (Original post about the abuse from 2012)

http://danachronicallyliving.blogspot.com/2012/09/healing-wounds-of-past.html

Rejection Leads to Confidence-There is hope!

http://danachronicallyliving.blogspot.com/2015/10/rejection-leads-to-confidence.html

Knowing God's Love in the Storms

http://danachronicallyliving.blogspot.com/2015/03/knowing-gods-love-during-storms.html

God bless!

Disclaimer: I am not a trained professional counselor or therapist and am only sharing my testimony and experience with healing from incest sexual abuse.  

The Unstable Foundations of Hyper-Grace and "Finished Work" Doctrines

Over the past 3 years, I became aware (and deceived) by the “hyper-grace” teachings while seeking God for healing. I truly believe the only thing that kept me from fully embracing hyper-grace is the fact that I am sick and have a real need. I've had chronic illness for over 14 years and doctors cannot help me. I need to see the reality of what Jesus did on the cross in my life, so catch phrases, slogans and simply believing things differently will not cut it for me. I need the real supernatural power of God to hit my body.

The hyper-grace message became very popular because many people live with a lot of condemnation and do not have a basic understanding of the true message of God's grace.

Since I've been sick most of my adolescent and adult life, I used to struggle with a lot of condemnation. I've never been able to meet up to anyone's expectations in life.

In the church, most of the condemnation that people feel, stems from the fact that ministries are driven by teaching people a method instead of getting people to know Jesus Christ in a personal way. When we try to sell Jesus as a 10 step method, it only makes a person feel condemned and feel as if they are never doing enough. You will always find someone who prays more, reads the bible more, prays in tongues more (or maybe you don't pray in tongues at all!?), sees more people healed or does more street ministry. It's an easy place for people to self-condemn themselves. These checklists and methods also turn into weapons used against people too.

I think it's important to recognize that the main theme of the hyper-grace movement is their disgust and rejection of all methods that have been created in the church. Many of them have been hurt in an abusive church situation. I am not faulting them for wanting to move away from controlling types and it's one of the reasons why I gravitated towards their message too. The problem though is instead of simply rejecting the bad they have indeed over-corrected into error.

They believe that once Jesus died on the cross, that doing anything at all for God is considered works. They believe if you try to obey the teachings of Jesus, then you are pushing “works salvation”. Sadly if you teach on things like service and obedience of any kind that you are “legalistic” and “religious”. Some of them say praying is a work. Some of them say reading the bible is a work. Some of them say turning from sin is a work. Some of them say fasting is a work.

There are variations of exaggerations in these groups. Not all of them believe in the same exaggerations and it makes it difficult to succinctly point out all of the errors. A person is basically forced to use minister names because otherwise you might be using a broad brush on another group who doesn't believe in what the other group within hyper-grace believes.

They have gone from one extreme which is a long list of things “to do” to the other extreme where they say, “there's nothing left to do. Jesus did everything. Just rest”. They have confused the free gift of salvation with the costs of serving the God who gave us that free gift. 

First, it's important to understand that from what I've seen, no one on either side is preaching the idea of doing works in order to be justified (saved). Of course salvation is only found in believing in what Jesus did on the cross, but we should also obey God's will for our life.

But this is where the conflicts and disagreements begin.

Many will say that grace cannot be exaggerated. They say that God's grace is too good and I agree that God's grace is too good. The fact that God sent us His Son Jesus, to die for us, to redeem us even while we were still enemies of God, is amazing! But once we come to believe in Jesus, our life and actions do in fact need to change and this is where hyper-grace disagrees. They say, “It's already done in Christ”. “you are already holy and sanctified”. And yet there is a renewing that God must take us through in our lives to begin to react as Jesus would not as our flesh would. Unfortunately many in the hyper-grace groups do not believe that God can do a work in each of our lives. They do not believe in wilderness seasons. They do not believe that trials can be used to conform a person into the image of His son.

I suspect many people who come across the hyper-grace teachings are in fact temporarily set free! This happens because they realize that the man-made methods that they put themselves under were not of God. I myself had this realization in 2013. I stopped trying to fulfill some man made healing method and started to look directly towards Jesus. But this is where I differ from the hyper-grace camp... Looking directly towards Jesus and pursuing Him involves having to pay a price of some sort. We will have to pray and read the bible. It involves spending time with God. It involves having to turn your back to the things you once did and learn to live the life that he wants for you. It involves sacrifice at times. It's not an effortless journey. It actually is quite painful to die to oneself.

When a person does not have this real connection to God and trials come, many who believe in the hyper-grace, finished-work teachings walk away from the faith. I've seen at least 3 "leaders" in this movement shut down their blogs and FB pages. When the trials and struggles of life come, many of them are not built on the rock that is Jesus. While they reject the "methods of men", they have also done away with any personal relationship and intimacy with God too. When a group of people considers turning from sin and obeying the Lord as works, then how as a church can we restore such people back to the true gospel message? When a group of people think God is no longer doing works in His children, then how will they ever be prepared when storms come?

In my few years, I have seen more walk away from God in these groups than in any other group. I have a few Cessationist friends who are sick and do not believe in healing, but trust God no matter what. They are on stable grounds. I have hyper-grace friends who are sick and were believing God for healing, but when it did not come; They left the faith. The general attitude and mindset of those in hyper-grace is this. "Either God is good and He heals me now or God is not real” There is no room for long term struggles in their walks with God. There was no trust built in God, but simply they trusted in their doctrines and catchphrases. Underneath the catchphrases and slogans, when their life spoke louder than them, they had nothing at all to lean back on.

If those who have accepted hyper-grace were honest with themselves I believe they would see there's a lot of healing that needs to take place within their hearts. They are insecure of God's love and therefore have had to then say that God is always loving and there is no wrath. They are insecure about their salvation and therefore have had to say that you cannot fall away from the faith. They need black and white answers to legalistic questions about God and it has forced them to have to rewrite scriptures like Ananias and Sapphira. For example, some are now saying that Peter in his great power received from God, murdered them. They cannot accept that God may have judged them, but they will gladly turn Peter into a murderer. Wow!

Unfortunately sometimes we need to examine ourselves to see why we are believing the things we are believing. God put me in a situation that forced me to do it. It came down to humbling myself and realizing that what I had believed about God was not true.

The bottom line is that those believing hyper-grace have been deceived into thinking that service, obedience, prayer and reading the bible is works. They have been deceived that trials and struggles in life are strange things we should never experience. If you type in trial, struggles or wilderness into the hyper-grace blogs and you get almost no keyword hits. They have absolutely nothing at all for those in hard times. It is a teaching that attracts people with generally good lives, but gives them zero tools to endure when the wind begins to blow. It's not supposed to be that way! The gospel is supposed to get us through the good times and the bad times.

If we have lost our hunger for God, then more than ever we need to be alone with God and seek him! Unfortunately though, it is nearly impossible to talk to many in the hyper-grace/exaggerated Finished work groups. For having such an amazing revelation of God's grace, I do not see this same love and grace extended towards those who want to have simple discussions with them. They see the inconsistencies with everyone else, but are totally blind when they do it themselves. We can all get our feathers ruffled at times, so I understand and can relate. However I don't see the great revelation of righteousness, grace and forgiveness they all claim to have. If I don't see it in their life, then what and why are they even talking about this as if it's having any transformative effect? Do as I say, not as I do? Isn't this exactly what they were against in the first place? The hypocrisy that's in the Church and the pastor or church that hurt them? Have they simply become what they preached against? In many ways, yes I do believe so and they don't even see it.

We rest in knowing what Jesus did for us, but that doesn't mean we don't pray, read the word or turn from sin. It does not mean we do not commit our lives to God and serve Him in whatever capacity He wants for us. In fact because of what Jesus did, we have a hunger to do all of those things even more so because we see what He took for us. We should not arrogantly look at the cross and then think we are owed something from God.... Jesus gave us more than enough and we should have a joy in our hearts while following Him. No matter what life brings and sometimes it will bring tough situations.

A Necessary Cost

Recently God has been talking to me a lot about cost and sacrifice. He has been giving me various dreams about the cost that we've had to pay in this season as we were seeking Him for healing.

Prophetically we were told that what my husband and I have been walking through was part of a necessary cost. We've had other words that basically confirmed we had been walking in a wilderness season and a training program as well. 2 years ago I could not have handled this, but God has changed my heart on many matters relating to this and I choose to trust God.

This summer marks 15 years of suffering with Postural Tachycardia Syndrome. In 2005, I had to quit college and work altogether because I was too sick to function any more. That was only a year after I had gotten married. Pretty much my whole marriage has been riddled with trials, struggles, sickness, pain, frustration and confusion. Then in 2009 my husband got sick with chronic fatigue syndrome. He was hospitalized for a week and then became bedridden for an entire year. During this time, he was no longer able to run his own business. We went from being financially well off to being in total poverty. I gave my life to Jesus in June 2012. By 2013, we had no money left and God told us to start selling off everything we owned and to go on food stamps. We obeyed and once we ran out of things to sell, we had to start trusting God for ALL of our bills and God provided! We have been completely dependent upon God ever since and both of us are still too sick to work. We have had to cautiously navigate this season and yet God said it was a necessary cost. Looking back on all of this, it is only by the grace of God that we have made it through it all.

If God is asking us to sacrifice things in our life or asking us to bear a load, we must know that it is not for the remission of our sins. We are not paying to be saved, to be loved by God nor are we trying to lessen our eternal punishments by offering up a sacrifice. The shedding of Jesus' blood on the cross was enough to pay the penalty for our sins. We are only saved by grace through faith in Jesus, so suffering in this life has nothing to do with making payment to God for our sins. I just wanted to make sure that was clear before I continue on here because many seem to get confused about that.

When Jesus died on the cross and rose, for me as a Gentile believer, it was only the beginning. We see this in Ephesians 2:11-13.

“Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth...remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ.”

It is only because of what Jesus did on the cross that we can now be reconciled to God through faith in His son. Now that we are in a relationship with God, He may call us into a place that requires us to sacrifice. He may call us out of our comfort zones. He may call us into a season where we are bearing a load. All of these things are for His purposes and often times are related to the calling that God has placed on our lives. He has to get us ready for the work He has ordained for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). We see this in the life of Elijah, David, Jesus, John the Baptist, Paul and even Peter. They all went through some stuff.

There's a popular message today that says you can't earn God's favor or blessings. Many of them are actively attacking service and sacrifice saying you are trying to “buy” God. They say if you sacrifice things for God you are cheapening what Jesus did. They will say that if you try to “please” God with your sacrifices that you are “doing works” and “adding to the Finished Work of Christ”. These teachings actually show what is in these minister's hearts. It is true that I can't earn God's favor when it comes to salvation and why would I? That was paid for by Jesus' sacrifice, but what these groups fail to recognize is that Jesus was also an example of obedience for us to follow. Everyone wants to “be like Jesus” in power and miracles, but I see very little talk about “being like Jesus” in devotion, holiness, obedience and in service to the Father.

When Jesus was about to be betrayed and suffer a horrible death, He called out to God.

“Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”

His obedience to God was to His own death! We should remember these words from Jesus when God calls us to sacrifice or walk a certain way that is difficult. We should remember that Jesus chose to die for us willingly and we should be willing to give our lives for Him too.

Having said that, in this season God was calling my husband and I to stand into a difficult place. He called us to bear a load that seemed impossible to bear at times, but it was in these times that we had to dig in and really begin to trust God. We had to dig into His word and start searching for living water to live off of! 

On my worst days, it was God who gave me the strength to stand and now I can say that our faith has been tested by fire. God did something inside of me that I cannot describe to you today. I feel something inside of me that I cannot describe, but it was born in me through this difficult time. I finally understand how the apostles could do what they did day after day after day, knowing they were going to be physically assaulted at times. I cannot even imagine the physical pain they must have been in after getting stoned, beaten and whipped and yet the hope that was in them through Jesus, that brought them to their feet to continue proclaiming the gospel.

If God calls us into or if we have found ourselves in an impossible situation (like my husband and I), God may call us to continue to stand in this difficult place for a season. We may be called to places we didn't think God would ask us to stand. I know that was certainly the case for me. I never knew that God would ask so much of me.

A common way God calls us to stand is when there are delays. Delays in the promises of God creates the atmosphere for sacrifices and loads to bear. It was the delay in our healing that caused us to have to stand in this difficult place and instead of giving up, I said, “Ok Lord, not my will, but yours” and what that involved was a lot of changing, stretching, tearing down, rebuilding and growing in Christ.

The “Finished work” groups would say I am preaching “mixed-grace” because the words sacrifice and service are bad words to them. They would say that I am preaching works based salvation. However my post has nothing to do with salvation and everything to do with being obedient to God's will for our individual lives. There's a big big difference there. Paul was never trying to obtain God's love or his salvation through the beatings and sufferings he went through for Christ's sake. Yet enduring this was part of the cost for his calling from God. He was called to suffer these things for Christ. It was very clear in his writings that he understood the costs involved and he knew it would ultimately lead to his death. This was also the same with Peter. After Jesus was resurrected, He told Peter in John 21:18-19, the kind of death that would be pleasing to God for following Him.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.” 19 (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, “Follow me.”

I bolded things here because God through His son Jesus called Peter to die a certain way and Jesus said, “Follow me”. It was part of Peter's calling that he would suffer and die in this way!

They knew the cost and willingly accepted it. Everything that Peter and Paul went through was part of a necessary cost of the calling on their lives. I believe we each have a role to play today. Are we willing to pay the price though? Are we willing to accept our cost for following God? Are we willing to say, “Father not my will, but yours be done”?

Some people may go through a season where they have to get angry with God because of the cost God is asking of them. Some people may go through a season of rebellion because they made an idea for themselves who God is that was not based on scripture. Some people may never willingly accept the cost and I believe those calls may be forfeited.

The sacrifices God asks from us will be different for each person. He may ask us to let go of things that we cherish and hold dear to us. He may ask us to leave a job. He may ask us to take a certain job. It may be things that we never thought God would ask us to let go of.

I'd like to share a dream I had several weeks ago. In this dream, I found out that I was given free stays at a $400/night hotel. It was a beautiful place and I was already imagining myself in the room. I was so amazed that someone would give me this! I asked the lady at the counter if there would be any other costs and she repeatedly told me no. Except I found that she lied to me. If I wanted to use internet, drink the bottled water and eat breakfast, then I'd have to pay for those amenities. When I found out there was a cost, I was angry! This lady at the counter in charge of putting people into their rooms flat out lied to me!

Even though the $400/night room was given to me for free, I was angry about the costs I had to bear. Because that lady lied to me, I started making a scene in the place. I was so mad that I walked away from that freely given $400/night hotel and went to the cheap $50 hotel because the amenities were included.

When I woke up I had to look up to see if this was a real thing with more expensive hotels and I found out that it was! But God wasn't talking about real hotel rooms. I believe these rooms represented the callings God is asking His Church to step into. The lady at the counter who lied to me represented teachers and ministers who are not being upfront with God's children. These ministers are lying about the costs and are not properly preparing people for their calls!

Remember the room itself was given for free. The same goes for our callings which are given to us freely through faith in Jesus Christ, but in order to walk in those callings and fulfill those callings, there may be costs to us. In the cheap hotel, the internet, breakfast and bottled water were all "included", but the room was cheap. It was dirty. It wasn't anything special whatsoever.

In my dream God also showed me the lines of others in the Church who have settled for the cheap hotel when He is calling them into the $400/night room. They settled because they had been lied to by ministers! And because of that lie, they were not willing to bear the price He is asking of us to bear. 

In this dream I very clearly heard the word, cheapskates.

We have become cheapskates in the things of God.

Many hyper-grace and Finished Work teachings today are actually teaching believers there is NO price to pay. They are perfect representations of the lady in the counter of my dream. They have twisted up so many believers and have put in the hearts of believers the false idea that if you give of yourself to God, that you are trying to earn the blessings of God. Whether they realize it or not, but they are not giving people freedom but becoming gatekeepers, keeping people from receiving what God has for them in their life. They would likely accuse me of the same thing.

If we are not careful we may walk away from the high calling of God and settle for something lesser because we don't want to pay any price at all. Even if that price is minuscule compared to what God has given us! There may be more asked of us with particular callings. This is seen in the lives of Jesus and the apostles. They walked in power, boldness and authority, but it came with a price.

Have you been duped by false teachers in the Church telling you there is no cost? And I use the word false teacher very seriously. I do not throw that out there lightly.

Are you not willing to pay a price because you were lied to that there was no price to pay?

Are you walking away from what God has called you because it is different than what you had been told?

At various times of our walk I have been guilty of this. I fell for hyper-grace and the exaggerated Finished Work teachings in the beginning of my walk. God in His grace warned me in a dream about it at the end of 2013. I never thought that sickness would ever be part of the cost that God would ask of someone to bear. However in this season as I trust and believe God for healing, He has shown me that He was using this sickness for His purposes. Without the sickness, I never would have had the compassion and desire to see captives set free. Without the poverty, I never would have been on food stamps, without light bulbs, soap and other various things at times. The necessary cost was a major humbling for me because I looked down on people like that. I never would have been able to feel the pain the sick and poor feel. I never would have even cared at all about these people. It was this struggle, this cost, this pain that made me who I am today and now God can use it all for His glory.

Whatever cost you bear for a season, God will use that so you can help others in similar situations. And since I believe in the supernatural power and healing of God, I believe this means God will use you to pray and see others healed, set free and delivered in Jesus' name. But we must be willing to follow Him, no matter what.

Knowing God's Love During the Storms

Mix of dark clouds and sun. A storm passing through the area

When life is going good, it can be easy to see God's love in our life. Many associate God's love with the joy they feel and the blessings they have been given such as family, a good job and good health. But if those tangible things were taken away from you unexpectedly while you were faithfully following the Lord, could you still see God's love? Would you think God was upset with you because of something you had done? Would you still be able to continue to believe and trust in God?

Several months ago I was telling my husband that this long season has given me a different understanding of God's love. Even talking about this topic is tricky because God can choose to reveal His love to His children in different ways during different seasons in our lives and one way isn't necessarily wrong or right. Admittedly though my journey has been a bumpy ride and I never had a "honeymoon period" after being born again. I came to God while in a long battle and the battle raged even more afterward, so this gives you an idea of where I am coming from.

In this difficult trying place, God's love has not always been tangible, but that does not mean something is wrong with me nor does it mean He does not love me. There are some things I saw while in this season, that I wanted to write about. Because of the way many teach God's love, there were labels people wanted to put on me in this season that I had to actively and purposely reject. These labels and teachings can make those who are going through these stormy seasons, seem as if they are missing out or not measuring up in some way. It's easy to see God's love when life is good, but we also need to be able to see His love when things aren't going well because we were never promised a perfect life.

Does God's Love Mean Instant Answers to our Prayers?

 

I often saw people associating God's love with instant answers to their prayers. This is very dangerous.

God is faithful. He hears our prayers. We can trust in that because scripture tells us in 1 John 5:14-15, "This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him."

Sometimes God's timing and His answers to our prayers may not be what we expected or even wanted though. Therefore, if we attach God's love to immediate answers to our prayers, it WILL cause us to lose our faith and trust in God if there is a delay. I once heard a prophet say "Delays are not denials" and that is so important to settle within our hearts.

God really can be trusted even if and especially if there is a delay.

I have also seen many people link God's love with physical and emotional healing. Since I've walked this journey seeking God for healing of Postural Tachycardia Syndrome and other various chronic problems, it is absolutely the worst thing a person can do. While I agree healing is a demonstration of God's love, we cannot make it the cornerstone or the measuring stick of God's love in a person's walk. When a person has been praying, believing and asking God for healing for years and are not yet healed, it can be rather devastating to their faith, their hope and their trust in God.

We must more accurately focus attention to the cross instead of getting them to look to their healing as God's love.

Does God's Love Mean Instant Delivery From the Storms? 

 

Some ministries suggest since God loves us so much, that He will keep the really bad things from happening to those who have "truly surrendered". But if for some reason a trial does come, then people who "know who they are in Christ" will have a quick delivery in all trials. These two teachings coupled together are very dangerous.

I walked down this path and listened to these teachings and they produced no life. It nearly made me leave the faith only a short 8 months after I was saved. The problem is as soon as a trial comes or does not leave as quickly as we thought it should, these teachings will cause a person to question everything, even God.

These teachings have bred a disdain for those who are sick, hurting or frustrated. Those who are healthy and living a great life are perceived as "spiritually healthy" and those who are in trials, sick and hurting are perceived as "spiritually sick". This is not biblical though.

We need look no further than the ministries of Jesus, Paul and the other apostles to see that this entire idea is false. Jesus himself clarified this false idea in the bible in Luke 13:4-5, when He brought up the 18 who died because the tower of Siloam fell on them. He said, “Or do you suppose that those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them were worse culprits than all the men who live in Jerusalem? “I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.”

The ideas taught in some groups have left many in the midst of storms feeling hopeless and defeated. Many teach that those going through trials especially a long term trial, that there is something wrong with their relationship with God or they haven't figured out "who they are" and they are "living in the old man" and much more. There's so many catch phrases out there that it's impossible to list them all here. However the overall idea in this group is that trials should be short lived, should not cause you any distress and should be overcome with ease. These attacks made to a person's relationship with God cause them to lose hope, lose trust in God and eventually lose their faith altogether. No matter how good they sound, these teachings are misguided.

Jesus wasn't short of revelation (given that He was fully God and fully man) and He certainly did not have a bad relationship with His Father. YET He was driven into the wilderness by the Spirit, which lead Him to be tempted by the devil. Jesus being put into this difficult set of temptations and trials had nothing at all to do with God's love for Him nor a lack of relationship with the Father. If you can believe this about Jesus' wilderness, then we must start believing it for other people's wildernesses as well.

God will guide us and carry us when the storms come and He will provide the way of escape during our struggles. However it may not be instant, even if we are fully surrendered and know our identity in Christ and are "living from the new man". In fact there is evidence in the scripture that says the opposite, which I'll touch upon later in this article. Sometimes there are things that God is doing in us during these storms that cannot be taught elsewhere. This isn't because of God, but is a part of our human nature. We tend to be stubborn and unable to see our own weaknesses until we go through difficult times.

Where Do We Find God's Love (No matter what)?

The demonstration of God's love is that He sent His son to die for us on the cross, even while we were lost and dead in our sin! He gave us His son Jesus Christ, so that we may be set free from sin and to be reconciled back to Him. Because of this we can now have a personal relationship with God and also have eternal life.

This is how one builds a strong foundation in God's love that will get them through the storms of life. This is the GOSPEL! For some people though this isn't enough. They have stopped preaching the Gospel and have replaced it with "revelation" that focuses on authority, power and experiences. But what good is power if it's not to preach the Gospel and God's love seen in His son? The power of God is the cross!

If you first have to see God do something for you to know His love, then you may never make it there. Settling in your heart that God's love is seen on the cross is what will actually carry you through to the other side, to the fulfillment of His promises for you.

When we build a foundation on this, our life circumstances won't destroy us and we will be able to step into the call God has for us no matter how difficult it may be. There may be trying and frustrating times in our life, however we know that we can still approach God in our time of need. Nothing can take away from the power and love demonstrated on the cross because it stands forever and ever. Even if we are sick or in poverty or being persecuted in chains! We can trust that God's love has not left us and has not faded away. God has not set Himself against us in any way when we meet obstacles and road blocks along the way. We can boldly come to God in our time of need and continue to ask God for our needs.

I am fully aware of all the scriptures that says that God will provide and God will heal and God will give us good gifts etc. Yes I understand and agree completely that God can and will bless us in our life according to His purposes. However if we need those things to know or to prove that God loves us, that is precisely the problem. It is not a stable foundation.

This is not limiting God. In times where we have nothing and in times where we have plenty, God will use it all for His purposes. We see this stated by Paul in Philippians 4:11-13.

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."

Paul, one of the most "anointed" men, suffered from want at various times in his ministry. So if it's OK that Paul did, then it is OK if you are too. Please understand me here. That's not to say we can't ask God for help, but nothing is spiritually wrong with you if you have a need. Nothing! Do not let any teachers convince you that you are spiritually unwell because you have sickness in your body or because you lost your job or are going through financial trouble.

Some of the teachers today may have likely told Paul that "he must not know who he is in Christ" since he suffered from need at times.

Is God's Love Always a Feeling?

The third mistake is that many believe or even teach that God's love is something that they will always "feel" or "see". There are times and seasons where God may give us an outpouring of His love and we should cherish that! Sometimes though we will go through seasons where we will not feel His love, but we know that He loves us because of what His Word tells us. If you are in one of those seasons where you are not feeling His love, do not let anyone tell you that you are less of a Christian for some reason. Do not base your walk with God on other people's experiences.

In the seasons when we do not feel His love, we stand on God's word and receive His love through His word.

When our relationship with God feels a bit distant, it's important to understand that it does not mean that God is distant. Scripture says that, He will never leave us nor forsake us. This scripture is a promise to us when we aren't feeling loved and when everything in life is a disaster. In the book of Job, even though Job did not feel God's presence during his trials, God was listening to every single word and every single cry from Job.  

God is present even if we don't feel His manifest presence. This is such an important thing to remember because so many are chasing God's presence when He is always there.

If we need to see, feel and experience things to know God's love, then the enemy will use it against us so that we never make it to the fulfillment of the promises God has made to us. The enemy wants you to start questioning God's love (because of what you don't see or feel). He wants you to become discouraged and walk away from God.

It's so important in these times of our life to get in the Word and to really start reading it through on our own. If you have trouble understanding it, then every day continue to pray for God to reveal it to you, to help you understand and the Holy Spirit will come and do that. I know that I had to keep at it and then suddenly one day it was like the letters jumped out at me and everything started to make sense. And when that happens a glorious thing will take place. Instead of just regurgitating what others are saying, God will be able to lay down real foundations in your life that YOU personally live by. It won't be what "so and so says" but it will become real in your own life. It's so important to get to this place during these difficult times.

Paul Knew God's Love Despite His Hardship

As I already mentioned above, Paul went through a lot of stuff. Yet he saw God's love while in a prison, being beaten, shipwrecked and going hungry.

In 2 Corinthians 11:24-27 we read about some of the hardships he was "boasting" in:

"Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure."

Remember in Philippians 4, Paul said that he learned to be content in whatever circumstances he found himself in. I hope we all can agree that God loved Paul very much and yet he went through all of these things in his life.

This helps us to realize that...

• God's love isn't based on what we are feeling.
• God's love isn't based on our life going good.
• God's love isn't based on the condition of our physical body. 
• God's love does not mean instant delivery or total protection from trials.

If you are going through a tough time, it doesn't mean you are a lesser Christian or have done something wrong or have turned God against you in some way.

We are to trust God during hardships and know that His great love is there because He sent His son Jesus! I have found meditating on what Jesus did on the cross can be really incredible. Think about how much God loved us to pay that kind of price. He wanted us to be reconciled back to Him!

When we come against obstacles, do not let anyone try to tell you that you are in that situation because you aren't committed enough or aren't surrendered enough or "don't know who you are in Christ" or 'are living out of the old man". It's best to just ignore them and to continue on seeking the Lord in your walk.

Scriptures of God's Love 

Read these scriptures and meditate on them to understand where God wants you to see His great love.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16

^"But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved),..." Ephesians 2:4-5

"And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma." Ephesians 5:2

^"For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5: 7-8

"By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." 1 John 4: 9-10

We are Conquerors in the Trials

This next scripture takes the idea of God's love to a whole different level. All of Romans 8 is amazing, but I have found many chop this one verse in half and ignore the context in which it was made because it's such a difficult and yet powerful message.

"Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Just as it is written, “For Your sake we are being put to death all day long; We were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,  nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:35-39

I'm not sure about you, but this doesn't sound like the "It is Finished" "God loves you message" that is very popular right now. Paul is talking about a lot of tough situations in this scripture which are being done to the physical bodies of Christians. These are Christians in need. He is also quoting out of Psalm 44:22, which talks about how they were being killed for God's sake, not because they had turned away from God, but because they were following God.

If we quickly head over to Psalm 44:17-22 this is the context of what Paul quoted:

¹⁷ All this has come upon us,
    though we have not forgotten you,
    and we have not been false to your covenant.
¹⁸ Our heart has not turned back,
    nor have our steps departed from your way;
¹⁹ yet you have broken us in the place of jackals
    and covered us with the shadow of death.
²⁰ If we had forgotten the name of our God
    or spread out our hands to a foreign god,
²¹ would not God discover this?
    For he knows the secrets of the heart.
²² Yet for your sake we are killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.

Paul was not preaching the love message that is being preached today in many groups. This scripture along with Romans 8:35-37, pretty much says, if you are following God, then you should expect trouble to come. It's not because you have turned away, but it's because you are following God.

Paul continues on that we can take courage that even while in these trials that we are overwhelmingly conquering in Christ and that nothing can separate us from His love. In some translations it says, "we are more than conquerors in Christ", so just because you are going through something does not mean you are "spiritually sick".

We must believe this, that when we see trials, even unto death, that it does not mean God does not love us or turned His back on us. For those In Christ, we are more than conquerors.

Conclusion

What God demonstrated in His son Jesus can not be undone. No matter what Satan or man does to us, it cannot remove us from His love. Sometimes God will call us out upon the waters like He did with Peter on the boat, but we can trust God in these places. You have been called there and that is what makes it stable. Know that God is there. He has called you here. He sees. He knows. He hears. You can feel broken, tired and weak, but God will carry you through those times. Trust in Him.

In these times, we absolutely must look to the demonstration of God's love on the cross. Things that happen to us in our life are going to call into question God's love and His goodness. If we put emphasis on how our life is going or on our feelings, then we very well may believe that we are unloved and rejected by God. If these feelings harbor long enough, one could walk away from the faith. But know if you are going through stuff, it's not because your relationship with God is bad or that God has given up on you.

I want to encourage people who feel like they lost their faith because they misunderstood God's love to come back and to recommit. God really does love you despite what you see in your life. He is calling you back today because He loves you. Tell someone the struggle you are going through and pray that God reveals His word to you in a bigger way because it will refresh you as you walk through the storms.

Being Sifted Like Wheat, Lord Make it Stop, Please!

Lately I have been crying out to God. Telling Him, I can't take it anymore. I told God I was so done living like this. Haven't we stood enough, Lord?? I've been saying this for 17 months, but in the past few months things have been unbearable.

As I was laying in bed the other day with a migraine and feeling lost, this is the scripture that God spoke to me.

And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

This is not exactly the kind of scripture I was looking for, but in our situation it makes sense. Lately everything has been falling apart. Everything hurts. 

Inside I feel completely dead from the culmination of all that has been going on for the past 6+ years. I've only been saved for 2 years, but we were suffering long before we started down this journey in Christ. It seemed like it has all caught up to me. Years of living very poor with very high levels of stress that never go away. Years of feeling insecure and uncertain about our situation. Years of not knowing how we are supposed to walk at times. Years of feeling like I'm making things up as we go. Some days it feels like it's never going to end because well it's been 6+ years. It hasn't ended yet.

And yet we do hold on desperately to what God has promised us even though it seems so remote and distant at times. God is the only hope we have because without a miracle from Him, we have no life before us.

Neither of us can heal ourselves. 
Neither of us have any capacity to work.

The days leading up to this latest breakdown, we had been praying and trusting God for a need and no money had come in, so I was scared and anxious. I cried so much the day before, it triggered a migraine that started in the evening and continued on when I woke up the next day. On top of everything else going on, it just seemed so cruel. 

I guess this is what it feels like to be sifted by Satan. It hurts. It unrelenting. He's evil and wicked and trying to get me to turn away from God. Sometimes I have been mad at God.

While laying in bed I was also reminded of the story of Dan Baumann who was tortured in prison for 9 weeks. God sent him to this country knowing that he was going to be arrested and tortured for weeks.

Dan tells in his story,

"It was out of my hands, there was nothing I could do. Either God would do a miracle or I would stay there.

There was no sense of feeling God. I felt like God was far away. All I could really trust in was His character, and that His character would be true no matter what I was feeling and no matter what circumstance I was going through."

“I struggled with faith, ‘Was God with me? Did He love me? If God is good why would He allow me to go through this situation?’ And I remember one day I woke up, and I was done inside." 

Although the circumstances are much different, on a spiritual level we are at a similar place because if God doesn't show up, there is no way out. It seems I've asked the same questions and have also felt done inside too

And of the thousands of verses God could have given me to encoruage me, He gave me the one saying that Satan was sifting me like wheat. That's hard to hear to be honest because I have no idea if there is an end in sight. I have no idea how much longer this needs to go on for. Satan asked permission and God gave it to him. That's hard to swallow.
 
This part of the scripture is encouraging though.
"But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren"  
   
I hope Jesus is praying for me that my faith should not fail because I feel dead inside. God somehow uses our brokenness to make us into who He wants us to be. It is after we feel crushed that God restores us and enables us to strengthen our brothers. I just hope that I make it to the restoration part! heh I'm tired. I'm done living like this.

Some people will not understand where I am walking right now and that's ok. I have found either people understand because they've been through it or they flat out just don't get it at all. Again that's fine. I'm not going to try to prove something to these people who don't get it. What we are going through is biblical and the things that Satan tries to use to destroy us, God can use to purify us. 

God has invested in us and I'm believing that He's making this all work out for our good...some how, some way. I hope soon.
 
I am weak. I am helpless. I have nothing without the Lord's provision and grace on my life. I've even come to realize that our faith isn't even ours and it is a gift from God. How could I take credit for anything when it's Jesus who is praying that my faith should not fail?

I can't even begin to explain how trying this season has been for me. It feels like at any moment everything could fall apart. Given all of my health problems, I don't even know how I keep going at all. We depend on God for literally everything and it's been extremely, extremely difficult. I don't think most people could relate to be honest. And yet God has brought us all this way, for more than 2 years. However in the last few months, things have become even more difficult than before, which is horrifying to me. And yet God was saying to me, "Satan has asked to sift you". And God said ok. Again that's hard to understand for me right now. It certainly feels like we are being sifted and he's trying to destroy us. He is trying to steal everything from us to ultimately get us to walk away from God totally. The devil thinks we only love God because of the stuff he blesses us with, so he starts putting pressure on these things to see what we do. Ultimately he wants us to curse God and turn our backs on Him forever (read in Job 1:9-10).

Getting back to Luke 22, after Jesus said that Satan was going to sift him, Peter said,  “Lord, I am ready to go with You, both to prison and to death.” 

And yet Peter was not ready to do this. God knew that, but Peter didn't. Not long after he spoke those words, Peter denied Jesus three times. Temporarily his faith failed.

During this ridiculous season, just like Peter, I have failed in various ways and have had mental breakdowns several times throughout. Lately I've started to lose grips on reality. I've never been one who can handle stress well and looking back I also now understand why God chose to heal my adrenals. He knew I wouldn't have lived through this otherwise. For those that don't know, your adrenals glands make a hormone called cortisol that we depend on to live everyday and it increases in stressful situations. Trying to take meds to mimic that rhythm is extremely difficult and usually doesn't work.

The sad reality is many times we have to fail in some way before we can see our weaknesses. We may talk a big game when life is easy, but when the trials come, just like Peter, we could find ourselves doing the opposite of what thought we would do.

When Peter saw Jesus look at him after the rooster crowed (read in Luke 22:60-62), Peter was deeply troubled and wept bitterly. He finally recognized his weakness, his humanness and came to a place of repentance before God. What Satan used to try to destroy Peter, it actually ended up sifting Peter and bringing him into deeper intimacy with God. 

Once we see God's grace and willingness to forgive us in our weak times, something inside of us changes that wasn't there before we "failed". We then feel compelled to help those who are in similar situations and let them know that there is hope in Christ.

And I do really like the last part in this verse. "...when you have returned to me, strengthen your brethren".  

After we have failed in some way in our walk and then see God accept us back by His grace, only then we really know how to support and strengthen others in their struggles. This is how God can use our failings for His glory. Our failings become a testimony to His faithfulness and our testimony encourages and strengthens others who have walked the same road as we once did. In addition, we gain grace for people who have "failed" in similar ways as we did and we can pour love out to them, guide them, teach them and strengthen them just as God did in our lives. 

We essentially impart to people what God did in us, but we have to get out and come to a place of healing to do this.

This is what God shared with me while laying down with a migraine. God was telling me exactly what was going on here because things have been so dark. What Satan used to try to destroy me, ultimately, it is pushing me into answering the call God has on my life. I just hope I can continue on because I don't feel like I can. Please pray for me and my husband.