The Emotional Swings Can Be Hard

I don't normally write blog posts about my emotions, but today I wanted to explain the mood swings I get at times. I have been so agitated, pissed off, quick to anger. It is scary because when I'm like this, I tend to do really stupid, impulsive things. Days like today is when I'd delete my blog, facebook page or delete every cover video I've made on Youtube. It's scary. I also purposely try to offend people and say things that will make people mad at me. I actually feed off of the negative energy. That filter we all have on our brains, it sometimes stops working for me and it's exceedingly difficult to get it to turn back on.

I've Been A Wreck

I really don't know what is going on with me, but I haven't been doing too well. Basically here is how things have gone down.

1) Went on beta blockers a few months ago with huge, life-changing improvements.
2) Started gaining some weight, fluid retention.
3) Developed Chilblains on my toes.
4) Heat wave set me back with heat intolerance, rapid heart rate
5) Added in Florinef to see if that would help
6) Anxiety begins to set back in
7) Increase florinef to 1/2 tab to see if anything changes, Added in Rx potassium too.
8) Feeling jittery, shaky, "out of my mind" like I drank too many red bulls or espressos

That's where I'm at right now. I cannot for the life of me figure this out. What is happening? Did the florinef do something or am I just getting worse because I am just getting worse?

Today is my birthday and when I should be happy, I'm pissed off. I'm not any freaking better. Yesterday was one of my worst days in like 8 months. I was soo jittery and shaky. Nothing would calm that down and then the nausea set in later on in the day. HC didn't help it, so I just forced myself to eat. I really wish I could see what is wrong and then fix it.

Water Deprivation Results

Before I post the results to the water test, I wanted to talk about the extreme anxiety I have been experiencing recently. It is absolutely ruining my life and it comes on suddenly without warning. I could not sleep last night because of it. I forgot to take my DDAVP and was having horrific night sweats...I really need to remember taking it. Anyway, I woke up a few times with my heart racing. I was definitely having a panic attack in the middle of the night and just decided to get up.

What's the point of going through mental torment while laying bed?

On monday I am talking with an EFT counselor to see if she can get to the bottom of all this. I'm really scared about this, so maybe I'm already stressing over talking to her about my anxiety...LOL

Glucose--84 (65-99)
Sodium--142 (135-145)
Potassium--3.4 (3.5-5.2) LOW Don't worry I'm already on RX potassium.
BUN--13 (5-26)
Creatinine--0.92 (0.57-1.00)
Chloride--103 (97-108)
Carbon Dioxide--24 (20-32)

ADH-- <0.8 (0.0-4.7) LOW
Serum Osmolality--287 (275-295) Last time I was above range on this one
Urine, Osmolality--784 (After 12 hour fluid restriction >850) LOW

At first glance the doc thought the ADH was too low, but then he said my sodium wasn't high enough. I pointed out to him that the urine osmolality for 12 hour fluid restriction was too low regardless that it concentrated at all. Yes I don't have complete, severe DI. We already knew that, but this does not rule out partial DI.

I have been taking my spray again with good results. I'm just going to take it when I feel I need it and that's that. I'll probably have to go back to Dr. Goldstein to get more refills in a few months. I'll worry about that when that comes up. I should probably make an appointment now though to see him.