Would I Be Happy If...

...Time to just step away from POTS for a moment and to just let my brain flow for a moment...

I was told as a young women to love myself, embrace what we are given, don't be jealous of what one another has yadda yadda yadda. Whatever. Yet all of that is a bunch of nonsense to make ourselves feel better about how we will NEVER match up to what is "expected". Seriously. You don't see women with pear shape figures in lead roles in movies, TV shows or on magazine covers. You don't see many women with small breasts either and if they are small, they are taped, wrapped up or squeezed into corsets to look huge. I know some of you are thinking...Well that isn't our fault. It's the media's fault! I guess it doesn't matter WHO'S fault it is, it's what is expected these days.

The question I've been thinking about for the past few days has been...Would I be happy if I had full, normal sized breasts? Even the girl at Victoria's Secret told me that none of their bras fit right because I have zero chest fat. In her words, "you have nothing to push-up". This girl likely sees hundreds of women a week and I was one of the first for her with this problem. Considering that, sadly, I think I would be happier. Does that make me a pathetic person controlled by the media? Nope, I just want to fill-out a bra for once in my lifetime and not be self-conscious about it.

Okay enough of that. I'm just really frustrated with myself lately. Where's a punching bag when you need it?

/sigh