I am 32 years old and have been struggling on a daily basis with my health since age 16. There were signs as young as age 5 that something was not quite right. I suffered from terrible unexplained anxiety in 4th grade and I had trouble performing in sports. I was sick for so long, I thought all of this was normal so I ignored it for many many years
Being sick from such a young age affects you not only physically, but emotionally and mentally. It has changed me significantly and I keep telling myself for the better...But this has not come without sacrificing a lot. Simple things like taking walks, enjoying the summer weather, exercising, taking hot showers and simple shopping trips are extremely difficult for me to enjoy. The harder things like going to college, raising a family, traveling and becoming a professional singer are all dreams and goals that have been completely stripped from me. I just cannot do them.
My old friends are barely acquaintances these days. It's a tough reality to swallow, but the truth is my healthy friends moved on without me many years ago. This is all too common with those who have a chronic illness.
A chronic illness forces you to abandon nearly everything you had hoped to accomplish in your life and makes you start over with whatever pieces are left.
I am thankful for what little health I do have, but I am reminded on a daily basis that I cannot do seemingly normal things. I struggle with simple house chores, cooking, cleaning, bathing, getting dressed, walking up stairs and anything that requires me to stand up for longer periods of time. I have been disabled and unable to hold a job for 10 years now. I have done some work for my husband, but nothing outside of the house.
My main symptoms are a racing heart upon standing or what is termed Postural tachycardia syndrome. The treatments do not work for me and there is no known cure for POTS. I just push myself through the symptoms and 160+ heart rates while standing.
In June 2012, I was born again and accepted Jesus Christ in my life. As I learned just what it mean to follow Jesus, He has made me see things in a completely different light. I am no longer living without hope. I am now looking at life through the eyes of Jesus and every day I learn to trust Him more.
For many years, I thought I would be able to find a cure for my illness through supplements, diets and other various theories. In July 2012, I woke up one morning and felt that God told me to just stop it. Stop doing all of this nonsense and look at yourself...Look how miserable you are. Look how unhappy you are. God was absolutely right and I immediately stopped reading theories, looking at health forums and stopped discussing anything that had to do with health.
In early October 2012, I was miraculously healed of adrenal insufficiency. I went to a healing meeting in Indiana with Dr. Roger Sapp. I was prayed for several times and I had some warmth in the core of my body, but nothing too dramatic. After a few days I had realized I forgotten to take my hydrocortisone and was missing doses all the time. Over the next few weeks, I realized I no longer needed to take hydrocortisone at all. I had no symptoms of adrenal insufficiency. All glory to GOD!!! I no longer have to wear around a medical bracelet!
2014 was probably the hardest year of my life. God had us in a very difficult place and was preparing us for the call He has on our life. The struggles from 2006 through 2012, do not even come close to 2014. Yet it was in this difficult place that God built faith in me and perseverance. He had to reshape me and remold me into who He needs me to be. Previously I didn't give theories or supplements more than a few months' time before I moved on. I believe God wanted to see if I would do the same with Him and so it has been a challenge and a battle of where my allegiance really lies. Am I really sold out to God or will I jump ship? Only by God's grace I have continued to trust in God and even in the darkest times, I have called out to Him for help instead of walking away.
If you would like to chat with me for some reason, here is my email below! I'll try to be good with checking this one at least a few times a week, but I have to admit sometimes I do not. Also sometimes I am not feeling well or life is very difficult, so I don't always get back right away.
Please understand that I no longer talk about health treatments. I know many find old posts of mine in google, but I don't do any of that anymore and it did not heal me. Keep an open mind as you go through your healing journey that God may be your only real hope. That's the place that I came to!
|upliftingworship (at) gmail.com|