Rest in Peace: Mandy Dobson 1981-2016

RIP my dear sister Mandy Dobson 1981-2016

I'm sad to tell everyone that my sister Mandy went home to be with the Lord on January 9, 2016 at the age of 34.

My sister and I were very close while growing up. We shared a room and bunk bed from the ages of 6-19 when I moved out of the house and got married. I'll never know how we got along so well during our teenage years, but we truly did! haha After she became ill, Mandy and I would talk to each other about our struggles with illness. Even though her sickness was very different than mine, she could relate to the frustrations I've experienced when suffering with an illness that wasn't visible on the outside. Mandy understood completely because she often looked great, but felt sick inside too. I will certainly miss our chats and texts.

Over the last two months, my sister's health deteriorated very rapidly. On December 23, 2015 the doctor gave her 24-48 hours to live and said she would never wake up from the coma. Well miraculously on the morning of December 27th my sister did in fact wake up. The doctor was shocked and had no idea how it was even possible.

I was asking and praying to God for another miracle, but unfortunately that was not how this story ended. I praise God though for those 2 extra weeks to say our goodbyes! She died very peacefully with my mom, dad and her 10 year old son by her side at UPMC Cranberry Place.

4 days prior to her death, I had a dream where my sister told me it was time for her to say goodbye. She jumped down off of her bunk and onto my bed, gave me a hug and then I woke up. It was one of those dreams I did not want to be from God, but now I will cherish it forever.

I never wanted my sister's life to be part of the cost of this season, but I choose to trust the Lord in all of this. Today was her burial and I felt peace, joy and assurance that she was with the Lord. God let me know back in August that she would be safe with Him. It's hard to say goodbye, but know I will see her for all of eternity some day soon!

Here is a link to her obituary.
Pittsburgh Tribune Review also wrote an article about her.

2009

Mandy's birthday

Moraine State Park 2013

Dad's birthday celebration

Brother's HS graduation 2008

Christmas as kids

1 Corinthians 15:54-58

But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written, “DEATH IS SWALLOWED UP in victory. “O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY? O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR STING?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.

Romans 8: 35- 39

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

"I Desire Mercy, Not Sacrifice" - Have We Lost the Heart of Jesus?

Before I was saved, I used to be very involved in the natural health and chronic illness communities. If you want to see what I used to do, you can read all about that journey in the archived posts from 2008-2011. I used to research scientific theories, come up with new ideas and try out different treatment options. I knowingly and willingly made myself a guinea pig in hopes of finding something that would cure me and work for others who were sick with similar conditions.

Over the years, my husband and I started noticing that people would invest their personal identities and get their value from following a diet, a supplement regimen, treatment plan or even going to a specific doctor. The followers of these groups would become die-hard fans and they would defend it against any questions or claims whether legitimate or not. I will admit I fell into this trap myself and repeated many of the "truths" that were promoted in these groups without first testing them out myself.

In these communities, if a person ever had complications or problems with a diet, treatment plan etc., the people were so loyal to that specific plan that they would yell and blame the person that needed help. They would pick apart the person's eating habits, dosing schedules, lab results and look for ANYTHING they could use to blame the lack of results on the person.

Ultimately, no matter how well a person followed their plan or advice, as long as they weren't seeing results, they could never do it right and it was always determined to be the person's fault when it did not work.

When God spoke to me in July 2012 and pulled me out of the natural health communities to pursue Him for healing, I spotted the exact same error in the church too.

In this post, my focus will be mainly on the healing portion of ministry. I'm going to thoroughly discuss the effects of having misplaced our identities and personal value in healing teachings, doctrines and ministers.  I will also talk about the effect it is has had on the sick people who are on the receiving end as well. This is a long post, so here we go. :)

Doctrine Becomes A Weapon Against Those in Need

Having sound doctrine is important and we should always be studying the Word to examine our beliefs. However if our doctrine ever becomes a yoke we put on those we were once trying to help, then we are in error.

Nearly every healing ministry sets up a specific plan or some sort of guideline for the sick to follow. I understand that these were created with good intentions and were meant to give the sick a plan of action to keep people on track.

Problems arise when people go through "this plan", but they did not receive their healing. It can be a confusing time for many sick people because they believed this was what they were supposed to do.

When a person in need tries to get help or has questions about healing, the same doctrine that was once used to "help" the sick becomes a weapon used against them. Often times the sick person is told to go through the checklist again and again and again because they "could not have done it properly". Their lives are picked apart and many doctrines then go on to look for a secret sin, hidden emotional roots and anything else they can to put all blame on the sick person. It's also very popular to say that the sick person doesn't really believe or doesn't really want to be healed. Some teachers say things like, "The sick have to want to be healed. We can't do it for them". It shows that those pushing the doctrine think they are 100% right and the person in need is 100% wrong. It also shows how much we as a Church have lost our compassion for the sick and hurting and have become blinded by a doctrine or teaching put out by popular ministers.

The heavy burdens and yokes we put on those in need and looking for help are unscriptural.

Matthew 11:28-30
  “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

It's not like I am talking about people who are practicing sin and are unrepentant. I'm also not talking about unbelievers or atheists who are actively against God. I'm not even talking about Cessationists who don't believe it's God's will to heal His children through the prayers of his church.

I am talking about people who believe in Jesus as their Lord and Savior, know it's God's will to heal, come to healing meetings, buy healing books, watch YT videos on healing and are following Christian healing pages on facebook. These people are plugged in and seeking the Lord with all their heart.

And yet, when these people struggle or have a question, for some reason many in the healing movement take that as a personal attack to their own identities. Why? Well I believe it is because many have based their identities on these doctrines, ministers and teachings instead of getting their identity from Jesus and knowing His heart. We need to reevaluate 'what' or 'who' has our heart! If we are getting our value from a doctrine or a minister that we follow, then we need to recognize this and ask the Lord to help us. We should always be looking to the Lord Jesus Christ for our personal identity and value, but sometimes we falsely base our identities off of the doctrines, churches and ministers that we follow.

People outside of the church do this too with their political parties, sport teams and even colleges. This is not something that is limited to the Church, but we should hold ourselves to a higher standard.

Even Paul warned about identifying with a leader within the church because of the problems it caused with rivalries and factions.

1 Corinthians 1:11-13
¹¹ For I have been informed concerning you, my brethren, by Chloe’s people, that there are quarrels among you. ¹² Now I mean this, that each one of you is saying, “I am of Paul,” and “I of Apollos,” and “I of Cephas,” and “I of Christ.” ¹³ Has Christ been divided? Paul was not crucified for you, was he? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? 
 

Do We Have a Heart for the Sick?

In recent years, a teaching that has gained popularity is "knowing your identity in Christ" or "knowing who you are". This teaching is extremely important and it's a place where the church needs to grow. However, even though it is widely taught among the Charismatic and Pentecostal circles, it has had very little impact on keeping people from misplacing their identities in a ministry, church or a teacher. In fact, identity teaching has become another doctrine where many use it as a weapon against the sick and hurting, to disqualify them from being healed.

Ministers may say things like, "If you really knew who you were in Christ, then you would be healed. Sickness could not even stay in your body".

This is an example of taking a teaching and using it to attack the person in need. The repercussions from a statement like that could be devastating to a new believer. Doesn't the minister need to "know who he is in Christ" in order to pray for the sick to see them healed too?

Somehow ministers become immune to any correction and all the burden is put on the sick person.

There is a major disconnect between what is taught by ministries and what is actually practiced when presented with a person who is in need. If we actually knew the Person of Jesus Christ and understood His heart and nature and what that truly meant (outside of  repeating phrases we heard someone else say), then I truly believe our actions would look much different when a person comes to us for help.

A church that has a heart for the sick would be spending a lot more time praying specifically for healing of those who want prayer instead of writing books about why people are not healed. There would be meetings that are completely focused on praying for the sick and the sick would be encouraged to come and get prayer repeatedly. These meetings would be tailored to the sick and not to healthy. At meetings, the worship and the message would be shortened in order to be able to pray for as many people as possible. There would also be a person leading the way and praying for the sick. The sick would not be passed on to members of the audience who may or may not have any desire to pray for the sick (or may not even be saved)! Most "healing" meetings in the American Church end with the audience instructed to pray once or twice for a person near them, while the worship band packs up their gear. Somehow the two hours of singing and one hour message became more important than actual prayer. This is what passes for a "healing meeting" today.

It is wrong. It is an embarrassment.

Almost all healing meetings these days are called, "training and equipping" events where it's mostly meant for able bodied people to go for entertainment. It's simply a pep-rally. Sorry this may be harsh, but most of them are not really healing events at all for the sick and yet these are the only real healing events that take place in the church. The person dying from cancer simply needs someone to pray the prayer and to encourage them in their faith. These training and equipping events will never fulfill the needs of the sick found in the Body of Christ, so there has to be more! Where are all the people these events are supposedly training? It's like a college with thousands of graduates and students, but none of them ever apply for a real job or leave their dorm.

If we give our hearts to a method created by man, often times we become spiritually blinded too. Even in our search for "truth", we tend to look at everything through the lens of that ministry or doctrine. We tend to follow and believe whatever is put out by them without first searching the Word or asking Holy Spirit for guidance. Early on in my journey I was guilty of this too and I accepted many interpretations of scripture as truth without doing my own study. I would later find out how much people twist scripture to fit into their teachings or purposely ignore entire verses and chapters as well. In addition, when we endorse a teaching we tend to ignore the gentle questioning within our spirit and it can become potentially dangerous, leading us into deception. I believe this is why there is such an influx of psychology, new age, new thought and other metaphysics entering into the church disguised as inner healing, deliverance and prophetic ministries.

Anyone can slip into the trap of having their value and identity come from a minister or teaching. We have to constantly guard against it, recognize it and put our focus back on what Jesus did for us.

I Desire Mercy, Not Sacrifice

Looking back when I was in the natural health communities, it always started off with someone who had good intentions. I know this to be true in the church as well. We love Jesus and are simply trying to give reasons as to why a person isn't healed and we are trying to give people something they can do to be healed. Unfortunately though even in these good intentions, it becomes something that is very bad. Many go on to use the knowledge they have learned to attack the very people they were once trying to help. How many of us in the church have heard things like:

"You must have some doubts you don't want to admit to".
"You don't have sufficient belief for healing".
"Maybe there's some hidden sin in your life that you just won't let go".
"You didn't find the appropriate root that's keeping you from receiving healing".
"You must have some secret doubt about healing".
"Your negativity is keeping you sick".
"Maybe you don't really want to be healed".
"You are sick because you don't want to give up your disability check".
"You probably just want to stay sick so you don't have to work".

Taking the scriptures and knowledge one has learned and using it in this manner is not OK. If Jesus Christ is our identity, then where is His grace? Where is His love? Where is His patience? Where is His righteousness? Where is His redemption?

We should remember,
Matthew 11:28-30
  “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

When we say these kinds of things to the sick, we have strayed away from understanding the heart of Jesus. We are no longer representing Jesus, but instead putting the burdens of man onto the sick. These are the kinds of traps and lifeless uses of scripture that the Pharisees used against the people of their day. Remember that Jesus said to them, "I desire mercy, not sacrifice". We are in error when we push a doctrine to the point of actually tearing people apart with the scriptures that were meant to bring us life and freedom in Christ. When we enslave and indoctrinate the sick into a method, then we lose an opportunity to connect them to Jesus. Scripture is more than just words... It's supposed to point back to the living God!

As ambassadors of Christ, we cannot be lashing out at hurt, sick people who have come to us for help. I know that sick people can be emotionally unwell, but that does not give us justification to treat them poorly.

They are bound in their sicknesses. They need to see His compassion and grace shine through us. If we cannot help them, then we always need to be pointing them to the one who can always help and that is Jesus.

If you are interested more about what "I Desire Mercy, Not Sacrifice" means, then I highly recommend reading this article on another blog.

 

Those in Need Shouldn't Have to Prove Themselves

The checklists that most ministries want the sick to do are impossible to ever fulfill or complete in a way that is satisfying or final. Many of the requirements are open ended and can always be questioned or doubted.

For instance, a person cannot prove they have removed or dealt with roots, doubts, sin, unforgiveness nor can they show a person their level of belief or faith. These are heart issues that only God truly knows, so this naturally becomes an easy point of attack for those on the outside. There is a high cost when we force the sick to prove themselves to us time after time. Many leave the faith and walk away totally away from God. In the very least, they begin to have a twisted view of God's nature and they start to feel like healing is tied to a checklist of things that need "fixed". The sick and hurting then become self-focused rather than Christ-focused.

Instead of looking for what's "wrong" in the sick and needy, we need to simply be pointing them back to Jesus Christ. The reality is we do not know why people are or are not healed. The reality is there is no secret revelation or formula to see more healings. The reality is even if a person dots every "i" and crosses every "t", it does not mean they even know God. Remember, "I desire mercy, not sacrifice". It's not about how well we can follow a checklist. It's about knowing and understanding the heart of God. Following a healing doctrine perfectly does not mean the sick will be healed. This is something that every healing minister and every person in the Church who wants to pray for the sick needs to understand. There is not something wrong with everyone who is not healed by your doctrine, your prayer, your church or your favorite minister. To think this way, it is not godly, but instead arrogant and prideful in yourself and in the ministries and doctrines you follow. Instead of trying to make ourselves look good, we need to begin surrendering these mindsets to the Lord.

We must always point back to Jesus instead of pointing people back to a man or to a teaching. Jesus is the only healer and that is who we need to point people to no matter what is going on.

It's also important to note that when someone comes down with a sickness in their lives, it does not mean they have a bad relationship with God or that they "opened a door". Even the biggest legends in healing history had major struggles in their lives. John G. Lake's first wife died while he was in ministry serving the Lord. Smith Wigglesworth was struck with several illnesses during his life. Despite a lot of prayer, he had chronic kidney stones that were never healed. He also had an appendicitis for 6 months and was on his deathbed. He was delivered of this condition, but he still endured the struggle and was not healed instantly. His daughter was also deaf and despite many prayers, she was never healed.

I find it sobering and humbling to know that even those who many put on a pedestal dealt with the same exact things that we deal with today. We don't have all the answers. We have made too many assumptions and that has cost us our compassion, humanity and love for people. We have to put our trust in God, not people of the past, not doctrines, not a minister, not a church and not a pastor. It is our faith in Jesus that will guide us through the struggles of life and the disappointment when people are not healed when we pray. We need to stop blaming the sick! 

A Dishonest Presentation Brings a Distorted View

"You are already healed!". "By His Stripes you WERE healed!".

We preach these phrases, but it's a dishonest presentation and that is why many ministries see disgruntled sick people. 

It is true that Jesus already paid the price for us to be healed. Jesus' sacrifice was perfect and we do not need Him to die again to heal us today. I don't know of anyone who is calling for such a thing. However that one time sacrifice for all does not mean we are 'already healed'.

When Jesus died, rose from the dead, sat down at the right hand of God and Holy Spirit was sent to live inside of believers, sickness on earth and in man's body did not instantly disappear. If all sickness had completely left the world after the resurrection of Jesus, then I would agree that we were "already healed". Despite what Jesus did, the earth is still under the effects of sin and people still have sickness in their bodies.

I sincerely ask people to reconsider the way in which we preach healing. The way in which Jesus proportioned healing for us was in fact "easy" for us (, but highly costly for Him). However the way in which we obtain that healing in our body is a mystery.

Please do not allow the simplicity of what Jesus did for us to cause you to lose your compassion for those struggling. Please do not allow the teachings and ideas put out by man cause you to lose your hunger and desire to see the sick set free.

When we are seeking the Lord for healing, it is not like we are trying to put together a table from IKEA.

When we buy a table from IKEA, we know when we follow Steps A through T, if we follow the directions exactly, that at the end we will have the table we purchased. This is NOT how healing works and we have done a huge disservice to think in these kind of terms.

There's a distorted view in the church of how intense the struggle can be for someone who is believing God for healing. Many sick people go it alone too and have no support there to help them along the way. They reach out to these ministries because they have no one else. As sick people go through this battle the church does very little in order to encourage them to keep hanging on.

Closing Thoughts

My husband and I have been seeking healing for over 2 years now. I have been sick for more than 14 years and my husband has been sick for about 6 years. We currently have no income and have sold off everything that we own that had value to pay to live. Everything with value is now gone and we live each month by faith. We have been through every healing method that is out there and we have gotten prayer from many different people (including very popular Facebook and YouTube ministers) and yet we have not been healed. I don't know why. I don't try to make up a reason. I don't blame anyone for the prayers not working. Despite all of that we still need healed. I can't just "let it go", "get over it" or decide in my head that healing is not important or just shrug my shoulders and move on with life. I'm not "already healed". Without the real Jesus I have no life. I will have another 40+  years of sickness, poverty and eventually homelessness and bankruptcy. No one and nothing can change that but Jesus! Hallelujah!

The reality is is that when YOU are the sick person, things change big time. It is easy to look from the outside in and judge, ridicule and shift blame. However when doctors say to you, "Sorry sir, but there is no treatment or cure for this" or "Sorry, but surgery was unsuccessful and you'll have to be in a wheelchair for life", this is when Jesus being a healer has to be more than a doctrine with catchphrases.

The church of today focuses so much on entertainment. We worship a God that we don't even know anymore. We have lost his heart and have filled that void with doctrine, ministers and church events. When you are the one who needs healing to be real, you cease caring about these things. It's child's play. It's a distraction. It's a way to feel as if you are doing something "spiritual" when you aren't. When you are in a time of desperate need, your spiritual life ceases being about entertaining church events and it entirely becomes about seeking and believing Jesus for His promises. All of the things people say to shift blame to the sick person, it changes when it's YOU in that position. No one truly understands what it is like to be in this position until you are in this position.

The problem is that there are no real healing meetings in the church anymore. We have meetings where we sing praises to God for hours and "soak in the presence", but then we won't tend the sheep that God commanded us to tend. We won't comfort the hurting or sick. What good is our meetings? What good is our events? What good are the programs? In Isaiah 1:11-17, God shows us how the things we do can become a burden to Him. In fact some of the words for worship in the Greek has little to do with music and everything to do with reverence and service to the Lord. If we are worshiping God, then our hearts should be bursting with a joy and desire to pray for the hurting, broken and sick. We should want to reach down and help them to see the Lord.

Apostle Paul rebuked the Corinthians when they turned the Lord's supper into a dinner party where the rich left overstuffed and the poor left hungry. This is not much different today in the meetings we have in the church. We've turned church meetings into concerts and games, where we watch the sick leave in need and hungry with no where to go! Why do we despise those who come to get prayer for healing? Why do we despise those who have nothing when we have gotten our fill? If Paul came to our church events and saw what we were doing, what would he say to us?

If we were honest we'd realize that the sick and broken have no where to go. No one wants to pray in a church environment because it's tough, risky and not entertaining. We are ok with concerts, writing books, releasing albums, long sermons and making videos, but when it's time for real ministry time, we run scared. We can't look the sick in the eye and care for them unless it's on our terms. We are ok if they sit in our worship meetings, go to our "training and equipping events', but they better be able to get healed on their own ! We don't have time for the sick in the Church because they show something deep within our selves that we are afraid to admit.

I've heard the lousy reasons why these meetings can't go on long.

You have to get home to watch a movie.
You have to go visit with your friends at Applebees.
You have to get home to prepare tomorrow's sermon.
You have to get back to the hotel to get on an early flight to do this same thing tomorrow.
You have to get home to pray to God and soak in His presence.

The church has turned its back on their sick brothers and sisters because they are too busy doing "stuff" that is more entertaining. We are addicted to entertainment whether inside or outside of the Church. We can't just sit still for a moment and look at what it is that we are doing.

Most sick people are not living at all and are barely surviving. Many live day to day and some commit suicide because they have no hope. They need a miracle and when they leave a church event, they can't just forget about it and be happy. They can't unwind by having dinner with their friends or go on a date night with their husband to forget about it. These people are grieving over the dinners and date nights they haven't had for years and the vacations they haven't been able to take. They are prisoners in their bodies and Jesus is their only hope.

The Church needs to stop being self-centered and become Christ-centered. When we attack these people or put huge burdens on them, their last hope is gone because we actually make Jesus bad news. The church has allowed wolves to come in and misrepresent the true nature of Jesus.

If you have made a doctrine or minister your identity, which caused you to embrace doctrines that were never demonstrated by Jesus, then you need to repent and make real changes to your ministry, your church and the way you pray for people. If you have taken the knowledge you've learned and used it as a weapon against the sick, you need to repent too. If you've created a "relationship" with God that is based around conferences, worship meetings and entertainment, you need to repent.

Let God guide you in this time and allow him to change you and mold you into what he wants for you. Pray that God shows you His heart and what he feels towards those who are sick and hurting. It does not matter what's popular or entertaining. What matters is knowing the heart of Jesus!

Let's make Jesus our identities, not our thoughts, doctrines, 10 step programs, worship concerts or anything else in between. Keep encouraging the sick to get prayer and encourage them to have a relationship with Jesus in their own homes. If we take that away from them, then they literally have nothing to live for and that's wrong because Jesus died for them so they may live!

Natural Healing Is Wisdom of the World

When we give supplement, dietary and health advice, we are no longer acting as ambassadors of Christ. We stop walking in Kingdom knowledge and in the power of Holy Spirit and instead we are spreading natural knowledge, wisdom of men and associating that information with the Word of God. Yet Jesus never ministered healing to someone by telling them to take an herb, go on a diet or to take a supplement and he had full Kingdom knowledge and power of the Holy Spirit. Unfortunately people have twisted the meanings of certain scriptures to say that God wants people to use herbs and supplements as another method for his healing power. Yet this is not seen anywhere within Jesus' ministry.

Herbal remedies or natural health techniques were not demonstrated by Jesus and we know that He is the perfect image of the invisible God (Colossians 1:15). Even the Disciples who learned directly from Jesus never used herbs to heal any person in the multitudes. It was ALWAYS through prayer and through demonstrations of power that healing happened.

If a person is able to take supplements or herbs and they feel better, then we can Praise God and be Thankful for it. However (and this is where I disagree with a lot of ministers) we also need to accept that this is worldly knowledge and not spiritual knowledge. Doctors and all medical care is included into this as well. It's human and scientific knowledge that has been learned through the advancement of science, medicine and biological studies. We can be thankful for many great things in our day and age. Thank goodness for running water, personal hygiene, antibiotics and emergency doctor care. All of these save many lives today!

However, you do not need to be a Spirit-filled Christian in order to learn about or learn how to understand the way herbs, supplements or a medicine "work" in the body. It is not revealed to us through God's Spirit, so therefore it is not Kingdom knowledge and has no place in a ministry setting. In a ministry setting you are representing Christ and Christ alone. 

Am I saying we should condemn people who are using natural supplements or are currently going to a doctor? No of course not! I've been to over 50 doctors, used countless supplements and went to many naturopathic and natural minded doctors. I still see doctors and use antibiotics and other things when needed.

We show love and grace to everyone:
...those who have been helped by doctors.
...those who have been helped by natural medicine.
...those who were hurt by doctors.
...those who were hurt by naturopaths or natural medicine.
...those who have done both, but are still sick and want healed!

Regardless of which path a person has come from or is currently on, we show them love and grace! When they are ready to accept Jesus as healer and they come for prayer, we show them love and grace! However, within the walls of a church or within a prayer, ministry setting we should never be pushing someone down any other path outside of Jesus.

If someone comes to you and is in immediate need of medical attention, then you can pray for them as you take them to the hospital or call an ambulance.

I'm not an ambassador of doctors. I'm not an ambassador of natural health. I'm an ambassador of Christ and that's what you are going to get from me! If you want natural knowledge or wisdom of men, then you have come to the wrong place. ;) You can get that kind of wisdom anywhere. How many churches can you go into and see a demonstration of Jesus as healer? ...Not many.

We need to be able to look at people with eyes of love no matter what path they have come from. That's why it's so important for the church to stop identifying with all of these other healing methods.

If we accept doctors and natural medicine as being an extension of what Jesus did, then we may have a hard time ministering to those who were either harmed by or not helped by those methods. We may take offense at the person and may not even believe them, let alone have faith and compassion to pray for them. Sadly I have seen what happens when a minister takes offense when a supplement they recommended actually hurt someone!

1 Corinthians 2:11-14 [Emphasis mine]
For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God. These things we also speak, not in words which man’s wisdom teaches but which the Holy Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual. But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.

My heart cry is that the church doesn't give in to the ways of the world. We need to heed Paul's words in this chapter of 1 Corinthians and put our faith in Jesus for healing.

1 Corinthians 2:4-5 
And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God. 

Amen!

*VIDEO* Seeking Healing Through Christ

I made a new video on my "health" channel talking about what it is I have been doing for the past year. This is the first time I have gone completely public with this unless you are of course a blog reader. I felt it was time to talk about it and deal with the naysayers as they come.

Believing that Jesus is a healer today of our physical needs is extremely controversial. I know that most churches preach against this and come up with very peculiar reasons why they don't believe in it.

If you just read the Bible and never step foot inside one of the churches, I don't think most people would be able to come up with these teachings on their own. Scriptures are taken out of context and aren't applied right. Many churches would fail a reading comprehension test. hehe

The church today should look like what is written in the book of Acts after the Holy Spirit fell upon them.  All of this is available to us today because, ⁸ Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Here's the link just in case the embedding breaks. That seems to happen A LOT with blogger.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kSpZiTFzdTc

Where's the Love and Compassion for the Sick?

Life with a chronic illness is tough. Not only because of the limitations it brings, but because of the horrible things people say to you about your illness. You ignore it mostly and get over it, but sometimes it can be too much to bear. You tend to keep your sickness to yourself and only tell people when it's absolutely necessary.

Once I learned of the healing power provided to us through Jesus, I thought people in the church and those who believed in laying their hands on the sick would be more understanding about illness. We have the life of Jesus to look upon for how to treat the sick.

And when Jesus went out He saw a great multitude; and He was moved with compassion for them, and healed their sick." (Matthew 14:14) 

However, I found many do not understand. Sadly, some are downright rude and condescending. They may quote a scripture, but there is nothing loving about what they are saying. :(

A lot of the things said, makes it seem as if some think that a sick person wants to be sick...When was the last time you had a conversation with your friends about wanting sickness in your life?

 "I really want a debilitating, illness with no cure to take over my life! That would be a great experience."

Thinking that sick people want to stay sick or it's their fault in some way is terrible. Jesus did not do this.

I have two general rules:
1) If you would not say what you are about to say to the mother of a child with an illness, then do not say that to an adult with an illness. The age of the person suffering does not change things. If that child did not "deserve" the illness, then neither did the adult. 

2) If you are about to condemn a sick person, by telling them they aren't thinking right, don't have enough faith or something else, then you better be able to use your great faith, lay your hands on that person right now and heal them. Otherwise whatever you are about to tell them is just self-righteousness and not part of Jesus' ministry. 

People who are saying these types of things to sick people, please re-examine your intentions. Why are you saying these things at all?  What are you trying to convey? What effect are you really having on this person?

Most of the time, the stuff said is not from a place of love, compassion and understanding. It is out of self-righteousness and ignorance.

Some people have made it about themselves.

"I'm healthy and feel great, so why aren't you?" "Why can't you just receive your healing?"

If you are in good health and feel you are being called to pray and minister to the sick, please do not look at your own good circumstances and try to apply that to the sick people you are ministering to. Praise God for your good health!! However never ever ever think that these people have poor faith, a bad relationship with God, a curse or something "blocking" their healing. If we start to think and minister like that, we will begin to resent the sick and never have faith for anyone's healing.

Whenever you see a sick or lost person...Imagine them as a child of God needing YOUR help. They are looking for someone to care enough to give them a hand that will do whatever it takes to pull them out of their situation.

Don't just look at a sick person and tell them every reason why they shouldn't be sick.

Here's a few examples of what I mean.

"You know you have already been healed. Now you just need to reach for it and receive!"
"Jesus died for you 2000 years ago, it's finished and done! Just take it!"

Yes, I agree with everything above. However practically speaking what does that mean to a sick person who is struggling with getting that healing? Instead of telling them why they should already be healed (when they aren't), how about grab that person by the hand and bring them the power of God. If you can't bring them that healing through your own faith, then dare I say, you don't have any right to say anything about their faith.

The very last thing a sick person needs to hear is more condemnation. Think for a moment the amount of condemnation that is presently in a sick person's life. They likely feel they are letting their family and friends down. They are unable to fulfill obligations or support the household due to their illness. They have had to let go a lot of the things they love in life.

The sickness itself is doing a good enough job.

Sick people do not need someone to lay it on even thicker. It's not going to make the sick person feel good and will likely leave them worse off than before they talked to you. Sick people don't need reminded of the things they can't do.

Condemning Messages Aimed at the Sick

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Below I'm going to go through some things I have seen online or read from people about healing that I feel need paid some attention.

"Every moment you spend sick is another moment you are not accessing Christ as the healer. Jesus is always Jehovah Rapha. Healing always is. We can access this provision at any time. Healing always is...its always flowing...its always on"

I like a lot of what Curry Blake says, but not this phrase.

The is just so very condemning. I don't even think people realize it.
"Every moment YOU spend sick is another moment YOU are not accessing Christ as the healer....We can access this at ANY time".

This is pretty much saying, it is your fault for not getting healed. Since it is soo easy and accessible at any time, so why haven't you figured it out yet? As if any sick person has CHOSEN to be sick in the first place. This line also makes it seem as if you just repeat a phrase and then you are healed.

Sadly many healthy people in the faith movement actually believe this... They honestly believe that receiving a healing is as easy as repeating the phrase..."Jesus you are my healer!"

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"Sick people are needs driven and should not seek prayer and go "person to person".

This one was in a video posted on Youtube from a Power and Love conference. The concept behind this sermon would have been great if sickness and an example of a shoulder injury had been left out of it entirely. I really love Dan and Todd, but I have some issues with this message.

First world problems and sickness are not equal.

You cannot compare someone being upset for getting stuck in traffic or "having a bad day" to someone looking for prayer because they have Parkinson's. You cannot compare someone going to a conference "for an experience" with someone looking for prayer because they have epilepsy. It's absolutely wrong.

Jesus did not do this. He did not tell the multitude they were too needs driven, leaving them hurting or making them feel bad for wanting to receive prayer for their ailments.

Then great multitudes came to Him, having with them the lame, blind, mute, maimed, and many others; and they laid them down at Jesus’ feet, and He healed them. (Matthew 15:30)

Sickness should never be used to gauge a person's faith or relationship with God. 

If we start to conclude that healthy people have great faith and sick people have bad faith, we are going down a slippery slope. Sickness is from the enemy and never from our Heavenly Father, so how can we blame the sick person for wanting prayer to get rid of it? Because of this video, we have people regurgitating this message and telling sick people to not go "person to person" for prayer.

What is a sick person supposed to do then? Most of the time the answer is "Keep the faith". "Just keep pursuing Christ"

Ok, you can still receive prayer from people and be seeking Christ and keeping faith. You don't have to be doing one without the other. In fact, if you continue to seek prayer after not seeing anything at all, that's a level of faith most people have not experienced.

It's harder to stand in faith for a healing when you aren't feeling healed and constantly dealing with symptoms.

The reasons why sick people look for "a person" today are the exact reasons why people brought their children, friends and family to the disciples in the Bible. They heard the stories of miracles and came in faith to see what was going on. If someone with a sickness goes to "see a person" who is representing Christ Jesus, then it is not this weird idolizing/idolatry thing. It is about a sick person having an elder in the church to pray the prayer of faith for healing.

Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up.
(James 5:14-15)

One of my biggest concerns with the Power and Love Conferences is that it is encouraged to pray for a stranger on the street, a waitress in Applebees, a store clerk or random person in a cast at Wal-mart, but if it is someone who has attended your own conference or in your own church, then they are just needy and should not be asking for prayer. This is unacceptable.

If we look in the Bible, Jesus admired people who traveled, were determined and asked for prayer. He considered it great faith, not neediness.

*In the story of the Gentile woman's daughter. The message was not yet for the Gentiles and yet this woman persevered and actually argued a bit with Jesus. What did Jesus do? He was pleased with her determination and faith. He did not get upset with her nor send her away...

Then Jesus answered and said to her, “O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour.
(Matthew 15:21-28)

*In the story of the woman with the blood disorder for 12 years, she fought her way to touch Jesus' garment and was instantly healed. Jesus saw this determination and was pleased with her faith.

And He looked around to see her who had done this thing. But the woman, fearing and trembling, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth.  And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.”
(Matthew 9:20-22; Mark 5:25-34; Luke 8:43-48)

*In the story of the epileptic boy, the boy's father brought him to the disciples, but he was not healed. Instead of the father giving up, he went to Jesus himself. The father was persistent in his faith and went to see Jesus himself. It paid off because Jesus immediately rebuked the spirit and the boy was healed.

Then one of the crowd answered and said, “Teacher, I brought You my son, who has a mute spirit. And wherever it seizes him, it throws him down; he foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth, and becomes rigid. So I spoke to Your disciples, that they should cast it out, but they could not.”
...
Then Jesus answered and said, “O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him here to Me.” And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him; and the child was cured from that very hour.
(Matthew 17:14-18; Mark 9:17-27; Luke 9:37-42)

If sick people are going "person to person" to seek healing, then that means the church is failing these sick people. Don't get mad at the sick for being persistent in their healing. It might just be the 45th prayer that finally breaks a person free.

As I wrote that, I am reminded of the video I recently posted of a woman with MS. I'm glad she didn't get told to give up and stop getting prayer. She might not have been healed.

I love this quote from her in the video at 17:19. 
"No matter how many prayers, you need to have, never stop praying and stop going to get prayer because it might be that 50th prayer, 49th prayer that breaks through and so I just want to encourage you to keep going."

To that I say, Amen sister! :) 

If we start telling sick people to stop getting prayer, then how many will remain in sickness their whole lives? Are we too easily accepting a "no" when we pray?

If you found out today, you were diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis, would you be willing to be one of those who remained sick? Who was told they were being too needy?

Think about it.

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"Just receive your healing" "By His stripes you are healed! You are healed!" 
"You may need to walk out your healing"

This one is probably going to make some people a bit angry. Let me explain what I am saying with this before people have a panic attack!

Having a healing manifest is not as simple as repeating scripture over and over again. Many point to these scriptures in reference to "believing" for your healing.

"Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you."
(Mark 11:24)

"And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.”
(Matthew 21:22)

These scriptures don't mean you need to recite passages over and over again to convince yourself of healing. It also doesn't mean you have to pretend you are healed even when you are having symptoms in that very moment.

I have had people pray for me and then tell me I was healed, even though I was not. Ugh...I really don't like that at all.

I think those with illnesses that cannot be seen from the outside are more likely to be victims of this "pretend you are healthy" message. We don't need to lie about the healing power of God. He is plenty capable of miracles!

There is a difference between believing and pretending. I'm going to touch upon those as quickly as possible here.

Believing  that it is God's will to heal is different than pretending God has healed. Believing in a healing doesn't mean I have to walk around and disregard what I'm feeling.

"I'm having a really bad day, so I need to use my walker, but I know Jesus is my healer and I will get through this."

Pretending you have been healed when you are not is actually dangerous. Some people may stop taking medication because they are pretending to be better. Some people may try to walk without assistance of a wheelchair or walker. Do not do this unless you are actually better.

Some will point to specific scriptures and draw wrong conclusions from the scriptures. If Jesus told a person to get up, then some say that you have to ignore your sickness and "work" for your healing.

Essentially some are telling people to stop "focusing on symptoms" and just "live your life" and then you will be healed. Basically this kind of teaching is only discouraging because it is about what YOU are doing. It is about what you are feeling and what you are thinking. The more you ignore symptoms, then the more pleased Jesus is with you...

This is not in the Bible any where. Jesus never once said that to a single person.

Even before I knew Jesus, I was already ignoring my symptoms and trying to live life as best as I could!... I have always said to myself, what other choice does a sick person have other than taking their own life? A new day will dawn and they will continue to the next.

Telling people to pretend will only make a sick person more frustrated and confused. Many people who push this idea wrongly mistaken this as faith, but I think it is quite the opposite. How long does a person need to pretend until they see results? 1 week? 10 weeks? a year? 5 years?

In time those who are only pretending for a healing, will be completely distraught as they get worse and worse. This is when you have people begin to question God's will for healing, get mad and think that God must have given them their sickness to teach them a lesson.

There is a difference between believing and pretending. I can very easily test if I am actually doing better by just standing up. If my heart rate increases, then I am not healed.  

I don't need to hurt myself or convince myself into a healing. Jesus is not MIND MEDICINE. 

Mind medicine is the exact opposite of Jesus because it is all about being self-focused and self-aware. Is this about what Jesus did or is it about your abilities?


Symptoms are real. I think telling people to "pretend" is insincere and discouraging.

If the sick person has been trying to receive a healing for some time, telling them over and over again to just receive is insincere. Please read rule number 2 from above. If you have it figured out, then just lay your hands on them and minister to them for a healing! That simple! YAY!

But it is not that simple, so that is why these new catch phrases and taglines are created.

This has got quite long. Wow. However, I really think we need to step back for a minute and really see what it is we are conveying to the sick. Is it truly encouragement? Is it what we see in Jesus' ministry?

No one knows all of the answers to healing, but I think we need to re-examine what we say to the sick.

We need to get back to having real compassion for people. Encourage them. Call them unexpectedly and tell them you want to pray for them. If they are unable to get prayer on their own because of their illness, offer to pray for them in their house. Pick them up and take them to local healing services.

I really think if we hang around with the sick more and understand what it is they actually go through on a daily basis, we will grow up into Christ. We will start to see people with love and compassion just as Jesus did.

Sick people don't need to feel better about their illness, they need a miracle.

My Sickness/Life Timeline...

This is a little timeline of how things progressed with me personally and my poor health. There are a lot of correlations with what was happening to me personally and with my health deteriorating.

I'm starting as far back as 4th grade because I already started to show signs that something wasn't quite right.


4th grade--Anxiety. Terrible anxiety. I would go to the guidance counselor every morning and cry. I still (to this day) have NO idea what I was scared of. I told the lady that I was always so stressed out feeling and that if I had any homework due that day, I was nervous I didn't do it right. I also had a male teacher and my counselor thought maybe that was my problem, but I never thought so...

5th grade--Completely fine. No anxiety about school except in math! haha

6th grade--Anxiety again. My grandmother died during the school year and I had a lot of trouble grieving. I would just bust out in tears during the middle of class if she gave us a hard homework assignment. I could not handle any type of stress whatsoever. This is also the year your body starts to change and I was not developing like the other girls in school. I had zero breasts and did not even need a bra, but I bought them anyway...


7th grade--This was an interesting year. I started to make new friends as all the schools come together in this grade. I ate very poorly during lunch (1 choco crunch ice cream bar every day) and I gained A TON of weight. At my heaviest I was about 150 and a size 10-12. Prior to this I was always VERY skinny and could eat anything I really wanted without worrying about the waist/butt growing. Not anymore after this year. I started working out with Taebo and I lost about 15 pounds! I looked good too.

I believe I got my cycle this year, but I cannot remember...lol It was either 7th or 8th grade.

8th grade--Nothing notable here.

9th grade--I really started to become a woman finally. Dang I was a late bloomer I think or something. This was the first time when I finally was attracted to the opposite sex. It's odd because other girls in 6th grade had C cup breasts, having sex and were WAY more developed than me 3 years later....

I got contacts this year and no longer had ugly, hideous glasses I was hiding behind. I hate those things! Why do parents give their children ugly glasses?

10th grade--I started to date people very casually. My first BF broke my heart and dumped me after 2 weeks. (haha) Then I started dating his friend a few months later and we were together for a little while, but nothing of substance ever came out of it (we were what 15? lol). I remember struggling with my weight in this grade a little more, but I was a lot better choosing foods rather than buying an ice cream sandwich every day.

The summer going into 11th grade is when I decided to join marching band. I had to go to band camp for 2 weeks. I almost died every single day there. Seriously. No exaggeration at all. I felt so ill and would almost faint every damn day because it was SOO hot. The only thing that kept me going was carrying a water bottle on my shoulder and I would sip on it all day long. I brought a HUGE water cooler (yes a cooler) and then filled my water bottle up from that. I had to drink ICE cold water or I didn't want it. The water from the fountains was not cold enough... haha

11th grade--This is where my life starts to take a bad turn. Lots of TERRIBLE things happened to me this year. I had multiple people take advantage of me or treat me like dirt while dating them. The anorexia and ephedra abuse started after one of these events and it was my way of trying to gain control of my life. I know it. One boyfriend was very controlling who only ever wanted me to give him head/hand jobs. I was just a piece of meat to this jerk. When I tried to finally break up with him, he told me he was going to kill himself. /sigh That was really stressful and he made my life a living hell for a long time.

As this was going on, a person very close, whom I trusted took advantage of me in the worst way, which was more than I could handle. I would have rather dealt with the controlling, crazy, insane boyfriend.

I also started to go "goth", but not really. I wore regular clothes, but just wore a bunch of chains around my neck and dyed the front part of my hair blonde (like Rogue from Xmen). I think this was my way of telling people to leave me the hell alone. I also did this so that if someone actually wanted to date me, they'd have to accept me for me (with chains). haha


Most of 11th grade was me trying to deal with the severe lightheadedness I experienced on a daily basis. Walking to class was a chore. I'd feel like I was going to fall down all the time, but once I was sitting, I would always recover. I think I took the ephedra because it actually made me feel better since it raises blood pressure. There were a few nights I thought I was going to die from the intense headaches it gave me on occasion. They were so bad I would bang my head on the wall...

Eventually my periods went AWOL. I went into premature menopause from not eating. I did not get them back until my senior year and I cannot even fully remember when that happened. My friends thought I was pregnant as I was drinking and peeing so much. Nope..not pregnant. I was just really freaking messed up.

In June, I had to go to prom with one of my ex's because we had planned to go together while we were still dating. I was in very poor shape and had lost A LOT of weight (from not eating). It took all my energy to make it through that night and through the after prom (which I should have skipped).

Then one day I woke up and decided I no longer wanted to wear the chains. I dyed my hair very dark red and started to dress nice. I bought nicer jeans and shirts.

I think it was the summer into my 12th grade year that I nearly died at an amusement park. I seriously CANNOT remember if it was going into my senior year or if it was the summer after I graduated... At this amusement park, I fell down and blacked out. My entire body turned blue and I could not hear or see anything. I was looking at myself, looking at myself. I can still picture my face plastered against the storm drain on the asphalt.

We went to the first aid station and my BP was 60/40 and I was so very ill. The lady there said that I must be really dehydrated and to take it easy. I took like a 4 hour nap and did not even realize I had slept at all. Even after all that rest, I continued to faint over and over again and I called my parents to come get me. I was VERY thin then. I think I was fitting into a size 2 very easily.

12th grade (Senior Year)--I remember coming back to school and everyone was amazed by how much weight I had lost. Damn! I started to get A LOT of attention from guys, but I really wasn't that interested. I did not date many people during high school. More weird stuff happened to me though which seems to be inevitable these days. I had someone take advantage of me while I had been drinking a little bit too much vodka, which is why I now hate to drink at parties or in restaurants etc. I don't like to feel out of control.

No one wanted to take me to homecoming or prom. Sad huh? I made a shirt that said, "I need a homecoming date" , but had no takers. How pathetic! I begged someone I met at a Sevendust concert to come to my homecoming and he did. I never went to my prom because you weren't allowed to go solo! /sigh I was not ugly either, so I'm not sure why no one wanted to take me. I don't think I have any pictures uploaded on my computer of myself when I was in high school or I'd put one up here. I looked damn good for homecoming...haha

My health was NOT good. I was still going through periods where I'd eat and then not eat. This was really hard on my body and anytime it would get food, I'd put on so much weight it was not funny.

I hated myself so much during this year and would have break downs in the bathroom on a regular basis. Anytime I had any stress, I'd just collapse.

I did go on to win 1st place in the school's literature magazine for a poem I written. I was doing A LOT of writing during these past few years as I was struggling to understand why certain things happened to me in my life. Some of those poems are dark as hell and would make for absolutely amazing songs. Some day that will happen.

I finished school with a 3.8 GPA. I always did really well in school even with all these health problems.

After high school--My parents forced me to go to college, so I decided to just go to community college. I did not even try to get into any large colleges as I did not want to go. I did not fill out a SINGLE college app...haha

I started meeting new people from school/work and continued to date and get into more serious relationships. I always dated older guys, somehow thinking they were more mature...LOL Some of them were good, some of them were just flat-out stupid and some of them were bad, bad, bad. haha

I also started to work full time at a cell phone company. It was out of my comfort zone yet I really wanted to try it out. Even though my boss was a jerk, it was one of the best things I ever did. I didn't think I could succeed at it, but I absolutely kicked butt at selling phones. I was top in sales almost every month. I was making quite a bit of money considering I was single and still living at home. After stupid relationship, after stupid relationship, I met my to-be husband. All that dating finally worked as I met the man I was supposed to be with for the rest of my life! That is what I was looking for all along and I think that scared most of the men I dated away.

We got married very quickly.

My health started to get much worse. I could no longer work because standing up for long periods of time was next to impossible. Retail jobs were killing me and I quit working.

A few months after quitting work, my sister found out she had a malignant brain tumor and I went into a dark depression for months. I did not want to eat, talk or even leave the house. Only after she was given a good prognosis, did I come out of my shell. This had such a huge affect on me as I thought I was going to lose my sister. My sister and I had been through A LOT because we shared a room our entire lives from age 6 until I moved out when I got married at 19.

I believe that brings us to speed to where this blog started and it should give everyone a better understanding of how things progressed with my health. I've been sick for A LONG TIME. This is not something new which is why I think I have something seriously wrong with me. I am not old (25) and for someone to be sick as young as me, there has to be an explanation for all of this. I just haven't been able to figure it out just yet. One day..One day..