Small Victories

I went to the store today on my own. YAY! I didn't freak out or have any anxiety about it. Often times I only post the negative things that happen in my life, so I thought I'd throw in a good one!

My headaches are gone, so I have to assume it was the florinef. I'm bummed about it, but at least I feel better now.

My weight has been up and down. I lose/gain 5 pounds give or take from day to day! haha Very weird, but I've always been like that for as long as I can remember.

Today the sun is shining, so that helps. It's a little chilly and quite windy, but I'm happy. The cat grass is finally sprouting outside, so the kitties will have a treat in a few days.

Headaches

I have been getting TERRIBLE headaches lately. They will come out of no where and I feel so awful. My husband thinks it's the stupid florinef. /sigh I'm not sure at the moment, but it's been like 5 days straight with it! It hurts on top of my head, but also behind my eyes. It's worse when I bend down or try to lift anything like my head is going to explode. I never got this when I was on the florinef before, so I don't know what to think. It is allergy season as everything is bloomed, but I never had any allergies before.

It just seems like I am always battling something.

Tomorrow I am watching my nephew and I'm already nervous about driving down there. Actually I'm not nervous about the drive. I'm nervous about being away from home. I am scared to go to places without my husband with me. I had a major panic attack the other day when I had a chiropractor appointment. My husband ended up driving me because my blood pressure was like 130/92 (crazy high for me), I was freaking out and just started crying.

Had A Good Day

Today I had a good day and I don't know why. I hate that. If I had changed something to make myself feel good, then I'd be more excited. Oh well I'll take it.

I feel more puffy again though. The fluid retention is returning...

I've Been A Wreck

I really don't know what is going on with me, but I haven't been doing too well. Basically here is how things have gone down.

1) Went on beta blockers a few months ago with huge, life-changing improvements.
2) Started gaining some weight, fluid retention.
3) Developed Chilblains on my toes.
4) Heat wave set me back with heat intolerance, rapid heart rate
5) Added in Florinef to see if that would help
6) Anxiety begins to set back in
7) Increase florinef to 1/2 tab to see if anything changes, Added in Rx potassium too.
8) Feeling jittery, shaky, "out of my mind" like I drank too many red bulls or espressos

That's where I'm at right now. I cannot for the life of me figure this out. What is happening? Did the florinef do something or am I just getting worse because I am just getting worse?

Today is my birthday and when I should be happy, I'm pissed off. I'm not any freaking better. Yesterday was one of my worst days in like 8 months. I was soo jittery and shaky. Nothing would calm that down and then the nausea set in later on in the day. HC didn't help it, so I just forced myself to eat. I really wish I could see what is wrong and then fix it.

Fluid Retention

Oh my goodness the fluid retention is actually HURTING. I can't take this anymore. What am I supposed to do about this? My calves are huge, my wedding ring is barely fitting now and I just look like a freaking balloon.

First time for everything

Today was pretty hot as I complained about earlier. Tonight as I was making dinner, I noticed that I was feeling really nauseous. It really just came out of nowhere.

Dinner was ready and I started eating. By the time I was finished, it felt like a pile of concrete was in my stomach. All I had was 2 chicken wings and a salad...

I was getting this fullness near my breastbone and I started to get the chills. The waves of nausea were getting more frequent and even more uncomfortable than the last. Out of desperation, I decided to sublingual a 5mg HC tab to see what would happen. I was not late on my doses and I didn't particularly do anything strenuous to need a "stress dose". However within 5 minutes, I knew that the HC was helping. I sublingual-ed another 5mg because I figured if I was that far down the low cortisol chain, I wasn't far off from my BP dropping and it heading into something much more dangerous.

Today I can say was the first time that I've experienced nausea to that extent from low cortisol. The sad thing is that I have no idea what triggered it. Within 20 minutes of taking the extra HC, I was up and about doing my normal nonsense. There's no way it was placebo as I had my head in a bucket getting ready to barf. It sort of freaked me out because I showed no other signs of low cortisol! I ended up taking 32.5mg of HC today.

Heat Intolerance : I'm screwed!

I was really hoping that the beta blocker would help with the heat intolerance, but I'm not that lucky. I figured this would happen, so I started taking 1/4 tab of florinef 4 days ago. I haven't noticed any differences yet, but I'm not looking forward to the weight gain THAT med will cause me. Ugh...I've gained like 10 pounds just in time for summer. It's not supposed to be like that.

I was going to lay out today because it's 80 here, but I can't. There's no way my heart can handle it at all. I didn't have my watch on me, but I bet I was hitting 150 BPM.

Some days I just want to start throwing stuff, punching holes in walls and screaming at the top of my lungs. As you can guess, today is one of those days.