Thursday, January 21, 2010

I'm Disgusted

I'm just so disgusted with myself lately. The past 8 months? or so has been the worst roller coaster ride ever and I want off. I'm so sick of feeling like 265 different emotions every single day with no hope that this will ever end!

I have no friends, so this doesn't help and this is just too much for my husband to handle now. Who do I talk to? How do I communicate when I'm unable to?

I feel trapped and I have no idea how I'm going to make things better.


imgeha said...


I don't know what to say to make you feel better, only that you're not alone. This is a difficult, lonely and self-confidence draining path that we have to walk. I wouldn't be here by choice, none of us would, but there is a belief that we only grow through pain and suffering. This isn't much comfort when we feel terrible, every day, progress is snail-like and nothing seems to help, certainly not doctors. I think it is helpful to be able to talk about how you feel to someone who is preferably going through the same thing, and who really gets it. You can email me if you like ( and maybe we can see if there is a good time to phone.

I know someone who is kind of going through the same thing, and we have spent a lot of time on the phone and it has really saved my sanity sometimes. It is possible to get so depressed when it seems there is no improvement in sight. Been there, done that.

Take care Dana - this too will pass. Write if you want to.


Birdlady said...

Thanks Nicola for your comment.

Some days just seem so hopeless yet other days I feel completely normal. It's THAT weird roller coaster ride that makes me so darn frustrated. The Up's and Down's are driving me nuts.

You may hear from me in the future. Thank you very much.