Sunday, March 28, 2010

Would I Be Happy If...

...Time to just step away from POTS for a moment and to just let my brain flow for a moment...

I was told as a young women to love myself, embrace what we are given, don't be jealous of what one another has yadda yadda yadda. Whatever. Yet all of that is a bunch of nonsense to make ourselves feel better about how we will NEVER match up to what is "expected". Seriously. You don't see women with pear shape figures in lead roles in movies, TV shows or on magazine covers. You don't see many women with small breasts either and if they are small, they are taped, wrapped up or squeezed into corsets to look huge. I know some of you are thinking...Well that isn't our fault. It's the media's fault! I guess it doesn't matter WHO'S fault it is, it's what is expected these days.

The question I've been thinking about for the past few days has been...Would I be happy if I had full, normal sized breasts? Even the girl at Victoria's Secret told me that none of their bras fit right because I have zero chest fat. In her words, "you have nothing to push-up". This girl likely sees hundreds of women a week and I was one of the first for her with this problem. Considering that, sadly, I think I would be happier. Does that make me a pathetic person controlled by the media? Nope, I just want to fill-out a bra for once in my lifetime and not be self-conscious about it.

Okay enough of that. I'm just really frustrated with myself lately. Where's a punching bag when you need it?

/sigh

4 comments:

POTSRecovery said...

When my sister and I were growing up I was always jealous of her flat chest! She never had to wear an uncomfortable bra, no chafing when she went jogging, her clothes just seemed to look better without 10lbs of boobs mishaping her shirts.

She, on the other hand, was jealous of my chest; wishing that she had something the boys would gawp at. Now that we're older...we still feel the same way!! Lol

It seems that part of being a woman means we will be dissatisfied with our shape, no matter what that is. Yeah-Thanks media!!!

Birdlady said...

I think either too small or too large breasts would be annoying. I knew a girl that had a breast reduction because they were causing her back pain. She went down 2 cup sizes yet, she was still a very large C cup! I am not even an A cup and I have zero chest fat.

I'm not looking for DD's. Yikes! lol I know that size of boob comes with a price (like you said). I'd be happy with a full A cup with some chest fat on top!

If I could just buy a victoria's secret bra that would make me happy. Bra shopping is TORTURE for me because I have to settle on which bra doesn't look as bad. Nothing fits me and I'll be damned if I wear a training bra at 25!

imgeha said...

Hi Dana

How's the fluid retention going? After a solid week on the beta blockers (so much nicer, not feeling so racy all the time), I have noticed some fluid retention too - nothing too bad, just my rings are tighter, and I can just feel it. Also some constipation, and low mood, although that could be hormonal, but it is not normal for me. Wondering what to do...

Let me know how you're going...

Nicola

(PS - I like having small boobs - so much nicer than big ones!)

Birdlady said...

Hey Nicola,

I am glad you are feeling good. Isn't it amazing? lol

I went off the BB for 3 days to see what would happen. I am sadistic like that. :-) I too started to notice some fatigue, low mood while on the BB and wanted to see if that went away. Well I could not go without the BB any longer.

I don't know if there is a rebound effect, but I was awful. My heart rate was easily into the 170's with shortness of breath, dizziness and horrible fatigue while standing. So as you can probably guess, I went back on the BB and that's gone again. My heart still seems a little aggravated from my experiment.

These BB's will make us more hypothyroid, so keep that in mind! Obviously the low doses we are on aren't supposed to lower T3 or increase RT3 as much. Even though the BB lowers the T3, there is no compensation in TSH levels according to one study I found. SO part of me thinks that the fluid retention, low mood and constipation might be lower thyroid levels? I'm guessing here.

I agree that smaller boobs are better than like DD's, but I have AA's which are annoying! I barely have a 1/2" difference from the band to my bust. =/ If I were a little bit heavier on top, these few pounds I gained from the BB wouldn't look so bad. :-)