Saturday, March 14, 2009

Keep Gaining Weight

I keep going up and up. I am now up to 125 pounds. My pants definitely don't fit me now and will probably have to go buy some. This is the heaviest I've been since I married my husband 5 years ago! YIKES! I have to figure this out or I'm going to go crazy.

Being fat is one of my biggest fears. Emotionally I'm already a wreck. It makes me extremely depressed. At one point in my life, I used to self-mutilate by burning lines into my arms with needles. If one looks real close at my forearms you can see the scars, but thankfully they healed pretty well. In the summer, they are more obvious because they won't tan.

My goodness, I don't want to start down that destructive path. I need to get this sorted very soon before it does. Weight gain is no laughing matter for me. It can lead to serious psychological problems.

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